The Downfall of the Irken Empire volume 1 & 2
by Playwrite
Summary: The doom and downfall of the great Irken Empire is brought about unintentionally by Invader Zim and a misplaced smeet. cont'd
1. Chapter 1

**Here is my first FanFiction. I've actually only ever written a one-act play and a few written short fairy tales for children in a local schoolbard newspaper, so if my style of writing is a bit kiddy fairy-tale-ish, please forgive me. Otherwise, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I, Elana Vital, do not own any of the terms or characters from the Invader Zim TV show. I've only admired them :)**

The great pink and purple Irken mothership, the Massive, hovered silently over an enormous orange planet, while lazers carved the planet's terrain with a scalding black tatoo of the Irken Empire's emblem. Another successful conquest, so it would seem. But deep in the cavernous bowles of the planet Yobil, the usurped inhabitants had a plan. A plan for rvenge. They hid from the heat of the invasion underground, in ancient caves long forgotten, and in secret devised a way to destroy the Irkens where they were most vulnerable. Their young.

"We will kill the young ones", they whispered, "Cut them, rip them, throttle them, burn them!! All when they least expect it! And down will fall their downfalls!!" They hissed and whispered and wheezed and waited. And in the darkness of their annual solar eclipse, they crept like creepy crawly things in the shadows, and slithered onto the main Irken Smeet Hatchery Vessel. They tickled the keyboards and turned the knobs, and when all in all was overtaken, they blasted away like an angry comet, away from the Massive. And before even the Almighty Tallest could fanthom what just had happened, the Hatchery ship was millions of miles away.

Now, I must admit that their plan wasn't _all_ that bad, for in all fairness they did indeed catch the Irkens by surprize.But the the Irkens weren't the sentimental sort, and were a brutally practical people. The Tallest wouldn't have much minded losing the entire offspring of the Irken empire all that much I'm afraid to tell you; they had the technology and the resources to make a whole new batch of smeetlings, no sweat. However, they were a very proud race, who didn't take too kindly to rebellion of any sort. So with a complacent yawn, Tallest Red ordered a few hundred spare ships to be sent after the stolen hatchery and destroy it and all the pesky Yobilian rebels all in one shot.

Meanwhile, the dark and slimey Yobilians aboard the hatchery curiously perused through the contents of the stolen ship, fingering the walls of tiny vials filled with green fluid,tiny little underdeveloped Irken smeets floating motionless within, and smashing them open one by one. Stompong the tender green things with their scaley clawed feet, twisting their little green heads til they went pop, smothering the lives of future drones, invaders, and even Tallests. And as they did this, they laighed wheezy Yobilian laughs and sang throaty Yobilian folk songs and danced bouncy Yobilian jigs with wicked glee. Victory was theirs for the time beging, but just as they reached their jolliest, a loud crash sent them all tumbling to their knees. The Irkens were attacking!!

Panicked, the Yobilians ran about in frantic little circles. Aparently, their plan never went beyond killing the little smeets. They hadn't thought about what they would do _next_! Within minutes, they were being destroyed from all sides, and it was then every man (or creature, rather) for himself. One spindley-legged Yobilian who was just a moment before about to smash the very last smeetling vial, grew quite mad in his panic. He threw open the main air lock valve and lept outside, sucking all the rest of his group out with him. And that, my friend was the end of the Yobilian Rebellion. But not quite the end of our story...

**And that's it for now. I have more to tell, and will upload the rest soon...**

**Thank you**

**E.V.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the next chapter. This chapter may seem irrelevent, but keep reading and you'll see how it works out. Enjoy...**

**Disclaimer: I, Elana Vital, do not own any of the terms or characters from the Invader Zim TV show. I've only admired them :)**

...Sally Bledsoe walked home from the bus stop as she did nearly every night...Alone. It was nearly 12:30 at night, and most would think a young woman of 32 whose rather petite form of an umipressive 95 lbs would be almost begging for a mugger to jump out of the alley way and attack her. But Sally was a tough little lady who despite her small size could put a bold face on the dangers and dissappointments of life. She was terrified out of her wits, but by her distinctive stride and her determined expression, and with her bunted nose pointed haughtily in the air, no one would've guessed it. But she _was _very much alone, and that was always the point.

She was single, of course, and had been a bridesmaid many times. All her friends from highschool and college were now moms with mini-vans and playdates and little white picket fences. Sally went to work at the Convast Promotionals and Financing office during the day and at night fell asleep in front of her television with a flat beer in her hand and a half-eaten TV dinner on her coffee table.

She couldn't imagine what went wrong. She was pretty enough to get a man, she had been told, and even had her fair share of blind dates, long-term relationships and one night stands. But they never amounted to anything, and if she was honest with herself, she might've been able to guess why. She had disliked _people_ in general. They were always looking out for their own wants and needs, and she'd felt that if she let them, they would suck her dry. In the past, she had watched smugly as her old friends grew round and fat with pregnancy, complaining about how their husbands never helped out around the house and how their credit bills were almost impossible to keep up with, and how they no longer felt young and beautiful. That wasn't going to happen to _her_, she promised herself. She wouldn't let anyone take away her life.

But as she came nearer and nearer to her thirties, she noticed her friends' tunes begin to change. Their round fatness eventually faded away with Mommy and Me aerobics and cutting out carbs. Their complaints evolved to funny annecdotes of motherhood and memories. They seemed generally...happy. And Sally wasn't. She was lonely, but she had her career. She was lonley, but she had a flat, trim tummy. She was lonely, but she hid it well, just as she hid her nervousness as she clip-clopped past the darkest set of alleys on 34th and Ridgewood...

**And that's it for now. I have more, and will upload the rest soon...**

**Thank you**

**E.V.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is the next chapter. Please forgive the typing errors as I'm a trifle tipsy. I do so love plum wine. (hiccup)**

**Disclaimer: I, Elana Vital, do not own any of the terms or characters from the Invader Zim TV show. I've only admired them :)**

...A sea of space junk was all that was left of the Yobilian Rebellion. Bits and pieces pf broken glass, wires, and metal zoomed endlessly on an uninterrupted path through space. Months passed, and the space junk traveled on past nebulae, stars and acceleration disks. The junk reached it's destination finally as a brilliant series if shooting stars darting across the earthen sky; mostly burning up to nothing, while others shot down, sinking into the bottom of the sea.

It was all sheer luck that the Irkens, for some strange reason, had decided to design the smeet vials strong enough to withstand the elements of space, yet brittle enough to smash open with a Yobilian fist. Sheer luck that one little vial (which just happened to be the very last vial the Yobilian was about to destroy before his unwitting suicide by diving out of the air-lock-valve) had escaped the wreckage unharmed. Sheer luck that intensity of friction as it entered the earth's atmosphere caused enough energy to waken the tiny green smeetling within.

It traveled with glowing hot speed downward, and for the life of me I couldn't tell you how it happened, but the little vial landed in the very darkest alley on Ridgewood Avenue unharmed, save for a tiny crack thin as a pencil line down the middle. And with the slightest push of the little smeet's three fingered hand, the vial split in two. And the little smeet tumbled out with a light plop.

Sally thought she heard something in the alley ahead, so it was no wonder why she clutched her pocketbook tighter and quickened her pace. And by the way she defiantly tossed her mop of brown curls and pursed her red lips primly, one would never have guessed her heart was beating wildly with terror. With every high-heeled step, she chided herself for not yet buying a decent car.

When a tiny figure appeared before her, she yowled like a frigtened cat, hopped, tripped, and fell with a small splash into a puddle on the sidewalk. She stared wide-eyed at the tiny creature before her. What on earth was she seeing??

It was very small, with a big round head. It was decidedly green and very much naked. It simply blinked at her with two big red eyes. The two sat like that, staring at eachother, and for how long Sally didn't know. Then suddenly, with a zipper-like grin, the little creature ran and clung to her ankle tightly. "I love you, Mommy!" it squeaked, snuggling against her stocking-covered shin.

Now for years after, Sally couldn't give an explanation as to why she did what she did next. Perhaps it was all those bridesmaids dresses tucked away in her closet, or the flatness of her belly, or both. But whatever the reason, she smiled slowly and patted the little creature's head.

"Where did you come from, little guy?", she asked. The little creature pointed to the remains of the little vial, not for a moment losening it's grip on her ankle.

"Are you...Are you all alone?" she asked.

"No," it said, "I'm with mommy."

After a moment Sally smiled. "Okay then", was all she said, and she took off her cashmear sweater. Wrapping it around the little thing, she scooped it up in a bundle and carried it home, cooing and cuddling the little green creature as if it were very own baby son. And not until she was in her kitchenette warming up a little thermos of milk did she pause long enough to think, "What in_ God's name_ am I doing?"

But she hadn't a chance to answer before she heard a loud crash in the main living area. She turned to see that in the ten minutes her back was turned, the little smeet had completely disassembled her television, cd player, and computer, and was contentedly playinng with a handful of wires.

"No! Oh my god, what did you do?!" she cried, prying the wires from his little green fingers roughly. "Ohhh, my new computer!"

The little smeet's lips trembled, it's candy-apple red eyes brimming with tears. Suddenly it began to howl, an unearthly sirenlike squeal. Sally panicked, scooping him up and coddling him, bouncing him on her hip.

"Shh! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please don't cry! It's okay, it's okay!", she said, but the shrill cries just grew louder and louder.

Suddenly the mirror on the china cabinet shattered noisily, startling them both. After a silent pause, the smeet's cries resumed, reaching a deafening climax, as Sally's ears began to throb. Then with a loud popping sound and the smell of burnt smoke, all the lightbulbs in the apartment blew at once, leaving them in pitch black darkness.

Everything was silent. The little smeet giggled softly.

**And that's it for now. I have more to tell, and will upload the rest soon...Probably tomorrow I'll do two more chapters...maybe...(hiccup)**

**Thank you**

**E.V.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here is the next chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I, Elana Vital, do not own any of the terms or characters from the Invader Zim TV show. I've only admired them :)**

Sally found it hard to keep up with her new adopted son. Though he was smart enough to talk, he was still very young minded. And another problem she found was that he seemed to be very hungry, but no matter what she offered him to eat, be it warm milk, formula, strained peas, pureed chicken, or even fish food, he would take one sniff and wrinkle his face with disgust, pushing it away. Sally was worn ragged. She had taken a week off work to devote her time into finding _some_ way to feed this kid. But nothing worked, and the poor little thing grew more and more agitated.Sally's landlord threatened to call the police if she didn't stop his noise soon, for as a result of his crying the entire apartment building suffered two power outtages, and the neighboors were beginning to complain.

One very tiresome evening, Sally was sitting dejected in the middle of the living room floor amidst a rather large mess, when suddenly out of the blue, the little smeet's crying stopped alltogether. Sally rose, baffled. She followed to where the cries had been coming from. The little smeet was sitting in the bathroom floor, lapping up some sort of puddle of liquid, gurgling contentedly. When Sally stepped into the bathroom her eyes and nose instantly filled with water and burned. Her lungs stung horribly.

Entire bottles of bleach, ammonia, and other things were poured across the floor. And the little green baby was drinking it!

"Oh my god! No!", she shouted, scooping him up. But she instantly screamed with pain as the mixture dribbled down the baby's chin and onto her shoulder. The fabric of her flannel shirt burned away immediately, and the sking underneith blistered and bled with a sickening sizzling sound and the smell of burning flesh.

Sally fell to the ground in the hallway outside of the bathroom door, wipinng frantically at her shoulder, but the burning wouldn't stop. Sally screamed, writhing wildly, bashing her forehead on the corner of the bathroom door.The baby tumbled and rolled back into the bathroom, stunned. 

"Mommy! Mommy, booboo!" he cried, quickly throwing open the cabinet under the sink. He grabbed a jar of petroleum jelly and pulled out a big glop, rushing over to Sally. He spread it over her open wound. The burning stopped, the pain dulling away until it ceased alltogether. Sally sat up, panting.

"No more booboo, mommy," said the little green infant, gingerly wrapping his arms around her neck, kissing her cheek. "Poor, poor mommy."

Sally could only sit there with her back to the wall, with her strange little baby strattling her belly, his chin resting on her good shoulder. Suddenly, there was a thump thump thump at the door.

"Miss Bledsoe? Miss Bledsoe, are you alright in there?!"

Throwing a towel over her bloody greasy shoulder, Sally stumbled to the front door. It was her landlord, Mr. Kenners.

"Oh, h-hello, Mr. Kenners..."

"Sally, what's going on in there? I heard screaming."

" Oh, I'm sorry. That was me. I-I, uh...I had a little accident. I was boiling water for spaghetti, and I spilled it all over myself."

"Boiling water, huh?" the old man said, eyeing her suspiciously."Your forehead's bleeding."

Sally's hand went immediately to her forehead, drawing back fingertips smeared with bright red blood.

"Oh, well, that's how I spilled it. I hit my head on the cabinet and fell back."

The old man just stared at her for a full minute before saying:

"Well, you'd better get that looked at." Then he walked away down the hall.

Sally closed the door and leaned against it. She turned to see the little smeet standing behind her, blinking up at her with his big, round, ruby eyes.

"Well", she said, "I guess we should head on out to the emergency room."

**I hope to be uploading these next two chapters today as my time's running out. Hope you guys like it.**

**Thank you**

**E.V.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here is the next chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I, Elana Vital, do not own any of the terms or characters from the Invader Zim TV show. I've only admired them :)**

Some rare, new type of blister gas. That's what the doctor said the burns were from. Similar to mustard gas, like the kind they used in World War II, only stronger. He said that if it weren't for the petroleum jelly, it would've burned right down through her muscle tissue and bone until there was a big hole through her armpit. And the baby was drinking it. No, _relishing_ it.

Sally sat in front of her brand new computer doing research for her baby's diet, while he played with metal scraps at her feet. She joined a "top secret" online community where a bunch of egghead anarchy scientists were discussing the ingredients to make homemade napalm. She found out all sorts of things about toxic gases, liquids, and gel-based acids that can be made from household products, cleansers, and jello-mix. She learned what an ordinary person would need to make a chemical lab out of their bathroom, and what types of metal alloy can withstand the toxic chemicals. As she typed, her moniter blacked out.

"Bobby", she said, peeking under her computer desk, "No. This is Mommy's new computer. Go play with the other one."

The little smeetling's face appeared, frowning up at her. "Mommy, I wanna connect the computer with my remote control car."

"Bobby, what did I just say?"

The little green baby's eyes filled with tears and he glared at her. "No mommy! I'm gonna cross the signals!"

"Robert..." Sally warned.

Bobby crossed his arms angrily and began kicking the back wall defiantly. "Mommy, you're mean! I'm not gonna be your friend."

"Bobby, stop kicking."

"No!"

"Bobby..."

"No! No! No!" cried Bobby, stamping his little sneakers so hard he almost knocked over the computer tower. Sally gasped, catching it and setting it back in place.

"Bobby! Time out for you! Go sit in the Naughty Chair."

"Noooooo! NO TIME OUT!" screamed Bobby, scrambling out from under the desk and throwing himself dramatically on the floor. Sally quickly switched off the main light switch, and the entire apartment went black. She'd learned the effect his shrill temper tantrums had on lightbulbs after the first week. She picked up the struggling, kicking smeet with some difficulty, so that she ended up having to carry him by an arm, a leg, and a strap from his little Osh-Kosh-B'Gosh overalls. She sat him on the little red stool by the kitchenette, and set the egg-timer on the shelf. "Three months old, so three minutes in time out," she said to herself. Just like the Supernanny show instructed.

You see, months were like years to this little fella at the speed he was growing. He was already 2 1/2 feet tall, weighing at 25 lbs. He was pretty big for his age. Sally had become quite well ajusted to motherhood. Bobby howled in the corner, as Mr. Kenners banged on the pipes angrily.

"Stop that racket, y'hear!", he roared through the floor.

" Sorry Mr. Kenners!" Sally called. " Bobby, you be quiet this instant, or no video games tonight."

Bobby held his peace sulkily. You see, Bobby only slept one hour every twenty-four hours, and since Mommy slept every night for at least eight hours, he had to sit quietly in the livingroom by himself until morning. And his little toddler's mind would go nearly insane with boredom. So Mommy had the old computer fixed and (after, of course setting the appropriate parental controls) allowed him to play online games until she woke up for work. Then in the morning she'd get him ready for daycare by helping him put on his wig and dark glasses.

She was careful to explain to sweet old Mrs. Lanning, the daycare teacher, that Bobby was different from the other children in that he had a very rare skin condition that made his skin turn green and his ears fall off, and that his photosensative eyes must always wear sunglasses, and he must NEVER EVER get wet.

She went to work for four hours then picked him up, and fixed his lunch in the bathtub while wearing rubber gloves and a gas mask. Then they had the rest of the day together, to watch cartoons and movies, or play silly made up games until it was Mommy's bedtime. Bobby would sit at the computer with a snack, and Mommy would go to bed. And in the morning, they'd start their routine all over again.

The egg-timer went off, and Sally hunkered down in front of Bobby. "Bobby, I put you in time out because you weren't listening to mommy and you were kicking after I told you to stop, okay? Now I want and apology."

"I'm sorry mommy," Bobby pouted.

"I forgive you, sweetheart. Now give me a hug, " she said, and Bobby wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek.

"That's a good boy. Now c'mon. Show mommy how you wanted to cross the signal of your toy car using _your_ computer, okay?"

Bobby brightened. "Okay!"

**That's it for today. Enjoy!**

**Thank you**

**E.V.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here is the next chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I, Elana Vital, do not own any of the terms or characters from the Invader Zim TV show. I've only admired them :)**

Sally learned alot about her boy. He hated water, and the only way she could get him clean was by rubbing him down with oil, then gently shaving it off with a metal hook. He had a bad habit of sucking his left antennae. He liked to make things and take things apart, he was very clever with electronics, and went positively crazy for airplanes and rocketships.He made an RC helecopter out of old stereo parts, and would spend hours sitting out on the fire escape, flying it over the roof tops.

For his four-month-old birthday, Sally decided to throw him a little party with some of the other kids from their apartment building. While the other children marveled and played excitedly with all of Bobby's homemade little machines and toy gadgets, the mothers all sat together with frowning faces and prim little remarks, while Sally busied about with refreshements in the kitchenette.

"Such a strange little boy. And do you even ever remember hearing she was pregnant? Months ago, she was a bachelorette, and now she's a mother of a four-year-old child?"

" I know! And what about all those strange smells that always come from up here? Mr. Kenners thinks she's got a meth-lab in her bathroom. He's going to have her investigated..."

And they whispered and whispered, and despite their best efforts, Sally overheard. That's when she decided that it was time to start looking for a nice little place to live far out in the country.

**This was a short one, so I added it on.**

**Thank you**

**E.V.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here is the next chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I, Elana Vital, do not own any of the terms or characters from the Invader Zim TV show. I've only admired them :)**

Sally came in from the barn with a fresh container of napalm. "Bobby! Dinner!" she called, slamming the kitchen's screen door shut. She gingerly put the metal tube in the table. The lights seemed strangely bright in here, she noticed.

"Bobby?"

She heard his country music playing upstairs, and Garth Brooks was singing about the time he called his daddy out and came crawlin' back to the house. Bobby loved Garth Brooks, and even though Sally herself hated country music, she bought about 8 cds from FYE and tickets to see Garth Brooks live in concert for Bobby's 13 month birthday. He went nuts, picking his mother up and swinging her around like a rag doll shouting, "Thank you thank you thank you omigosh Mom you're so cool!!"

He was quite a big boy for his age. He was already taller then his mom by a foot and three inches. He was a good kid who worked hard out on their little sustinance farm, and far more clever at school then your average 13 year old earth boy. He was growing up so fast and so advanced academically that he had to take online homeschool courses more suited to his pace. He would usually finish the entire week's schoolwork on the first day. Right now he was in the middle of 11th grade curriculum, and be moving on the 12th in about two weeks. And what would Sally do with him then? College? At 14 months?

Well, he certainly was _big_ enough to pass for a college student, but Sally wasn't so sure he was _mature_ enough. All he liked to do was watch Mysterious Mysteries and play silly little video games about space aliens...Sally paused a minute, checking herself. Well, maybe thinking about space aliens wasn't _all_ that immature with all things considered.

"Bobby, come down for dinner, hon", she called, knocking on his bedroom door. The door swung open of it's own accord, and Sally had to shield her eyes from the burning brightness of Bobby's night table lamp. Something electrical buzzed and zapped within the walls of the house, making the lights flash brighter. "What in the blazes is that boy up to now?"

"Bobby, where are you?"

Sally searched the house calling for him. Finally she heard his voice coming from down in the basement. "I'm down here, Ma! Come here! You've got to check out what I made!!"

Sally came down the basement stairs to see Bobby hunkered down behind a rather large machine. It looked like some sort of generator, as it rattled and buzzed noisily.

"What is this thing?" she asked.

"Isn't it awesome? It's our very own nuclear powered generator-slash-computer system!" Bobby said proudly. "I call her Baby."

"Did you say _nuclear_ powered generator?" Sally asked, blinking dumbly.

"Yup! Isn't she beautiful? And just think about it. Everything our house needs is right here. Think of all the money we'll save. No more stressing about how we'll make ends meet. No electricity, water, or phone bills, no more having to pay for the internet..."

" What a minute, what're you talking about? What's this thing got to do with our bills?"

"Well look at this. I've hooked up everything in the house to rely on Baby for power, and I've drilled you a water well out back with it too. Then I took care of our phone with this here," he picked up what looked like a telephone reciever/computer modem hanging off the side of the machine. Holding it up, Sally could hear a clear, distinctive dial tone. "Voila! Our very own fully independant, fully functinal phone line service, free of charge."

"Bobby...How did you..." Sally stammered, but Bobby chattered on proudly.

"...This thing's got a free-line frequency transmitter, and I hooked it up to the old satellite dish on the roof. It's sorta like hot spot technology, only way way cooler. We're hitchin a ride on the phone companies' satellites for now. That is, until I can get our own satellite running, and then we'll have-"

"Bobby, bobby, slow down, honey! We can't just go about building nuclear generators and satellites and things. I mean, is any of this even legal?"

"Probably not...Hey, did you say something about dinner?" Bobby said, heading up the stairs.

"Robert..."

"Oh relax, Mom. Baby's practically untraceable; I made sure of it. Besides, those power and light companies are all jerks, you know. Their monopolizing the industry", Bobby said, entering the kitchen.

"Oh no. He's getting up on his soapbox again," Sally laughed.

"Well, it's true, Mom. Our society has become too dependant on these corporate monsters for the developement of our own use of technology. And it majorly sucks. If people would just _apply_ themselves to learning more about technology on their own, we all could be self-sufficient. Hey, whatcha eatin' tonight?" Bobby said, peeking into the pot on the stove, sniffing.

"Beef stew and potatoes."

"Uggghhhh, gross, Ma. That's so disgusting! How can you eat that stuff?"

"Don't be rude," Sally scolded, bopping him upside the head. "So, what you're saying is that everybody should just build their own nuclear generated computer systems, and we'd all be peachy keen?"

"Well, yeah. It's not that hard," he said, sitting down at the table, guzzling his can of napalm. Sally laughed, sitting across from him.

"Well, maybe not that hard for somebody like you, but for the rest of us who aren't as talented with fancy gadgets as you are... For the love of God, Bobby, slow down or you'll get gas again."

But it was too late. Turning his head he belched, and a big column of flames left his lips, setting the curtains ablaze.

"Oh! Sorry sorry sorry!" he said, quickly grabbing one of the house's many fire extinguishers and spraying the curtain. After all the carbon and smoke settled, Bobby smiled at his mother sheepishly. She sighed, shaking her head.

"Sorry mom... I love you... I'll buy you new curtains..." he said, trying very hard not to laugh.

Sally rubbed her forehead. "What am I going to do with you? Would you please just sit down and finish your dinner. And _please_ pace yourself, for crying out loud."

Bobby sat down with a smirk, sipping his can daintily. Suddenly with aloud zapping noise, the power went out, and the two were left sitting at the kitchen table in darkness.

"Well, maybe Baby's still got a few bugs in her..." Bobby murmured.

**E.V.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here is the next chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I, Elana Vital, do not own any of the terms or characters from the Invader Zim TV show. I will however claim the characters of Bobby and Sally Bledsoe as my own.**

Bobby's face glowed blue by the light of the computer screen. He bit his lip as excitement bubbled within his chest. Mom was asleep upstairs, and the bullfrogs _jug-o-rumm, jug-o-rummed _outside by the front pond. All the lights were out.

He could bearly keep himself from shouting out with anticipation, as he glanced at the time on the bottom right corner of the computer screen. 12:45. Only fifteen more minutes, he told himself. He checked his email to kill time, deleting advertisements for numberous collegic programs, student loans, and stuff like that. He'd been elligable academically to attend college for about two months now, but he decided to put off college for the time being. He told his mom he didn't want to go until he was at least 18 months old, because he didn't feel he was mature enough to handle the pressures and responsibilities of college life yet.

He knew his mother like the back of his hand. He knew she wasn't too hot on the idea of him going away for college at 14, especially since he was so...different. She would worry endlessly about how all the other people were treating him. But that wasn't the real reason why he decided to wait. Before going off to "start a life", he needed to know more about himself. He knew Sally wasn't his real mother. He knew he grew up faster and differently from other kids. How could he start a life, when he didn't even know where his own life began? He knew he wasn't human. What was he?

Sally had done her best to give him everything he ever needed or wanted. But she couldn't give him what he needed most...and identity.

Whenever he asked her anything about himself, she'd always only tell the same old story; that he came to her one night when she was walking home from work. She really didn't know anything more then that. He had his own suspicions, but he could never come up with anything _for certain._ Until recently...

Late one night he was surfing the web, when his stumbled across an archived photo from a Mysterious Mysteries webring. It was pretty blurry, but he could somewhat make out the image. It was a picture of a kid in a red striped shirt standing next to a tree. He had a horrible expression on his face, and his long tongue was hanging out. But it was his face that caught Bobby's eye.

It was distinctively, decidedly, and unmistakeably..._**green.**_

And his eyes were bright red.

What's more, Bobby could sort of make out two long antennae sprouting out from the top of the kid's hairless, earless head.

Bobby's three-fingered hand shakily ran over his own green features, his own long antennae, then touched the screen tentatively.

"Oh my god..."

The photo had been labelled "Another Alien Hoax Video taken by derranged UFO and Paranormal enthusiast"...UFO??

Bobby quickly clicked on the link to see the video and watched. The audio was terrible, and the images were constantly zooming in and out of focus. But here was what he could see from it:

_**The camera zooms in on a black booted foot, the a finger. Then a boy's face with a distinctive forehead, spikey black hair, and round glasses flashes onto the screen.**_

_**"Test...One, two, one, two, three...Okay, here I go," the boy says, and the camera jerks about wildly as muffled sounds of running footsteps can be heard. The running stops, then the camera blurrs into focus. It zooms in on a small, odd-looking house with grotesque looking garden gnomes and oversized flamingoes littering the front yard. It's night time.**_

_**The camera jerks, and everything goes black momentarily as the boy's voice could be heard yelling something unintellegable.**_

_**"What do you think you're doing, Dib-Stink!?" says another voice, and the green-faced kid's image comes onto the screen, zooming in and out shakily.**_

_**"Aha! I got you on camera, Zim! Now everyone will know you're-" the first boy's begins to say, but is interrupted by a crash and a horrible shriek.**_

_**"Ohhhh, you disgusting little-!" the green faced kid says, and the camera falls into the grass. All you can see is the ceramic feet of a garden troll.**_

_**"No! Wait!! Stop! Stop it, Gir!!" comes the voice of the green kid. Then the screen goes black.**_

Bobby had watched the video over and over that night before scrolling down to read the text underneith it. There wasn't much to be said about the footage; only that it was a ridiculous hoax submitted to Mysterious Mysteries by someone who called himself "Agent Mothman".

Bobby couldn't bring himself to believe the alien footage could possibly be a hoax. Not when all he had to do was look in the mirror.

For weeks afterward, he spent every night searching for this "Agent Mothman" person. Maybe he could help Bobby figure things out. Finally, he found him. Bobby had sent him an email telling him he wanted to speak with him, and that he believed the footage was not a hoax. He gave him his IM info, and told Agent Mothman he'd be waiting for him the very next night at 1:00 AM sharp. That way he could be sure Mom would be fast asleep.

If she found out, she would flip. She didn't want him to talk to others about himself. She warned him it was too dangerous. If anyone were to know just how different he was, who knows what they'd do to him.

"Just to be safe, I won't tell this guy too much about me", he'd told himself. "If I can just get him to tell me what _he _knows, then maybe...maybe I can know for sure if I really _am_ a...a..."

And so tonight Bobby waited, his mom sleeping soundly upstairs. The clock struck one...

**E.V.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Here is the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I, E.Vital, do not own any of the terms or characters of the Invader Zim TV show, though I do own Sally and Bobby Bledsoe.**

**_((AgentMothman has logged on ))_**

_**GBcountryboy: **Hello? Mothman?_

_**AgentMothman:** Yes. Who is this? Agent Darkbooty, is that you?_

_**GBcountryboy: **Um no. I'm not Agent Darkbooty. I saw your footage of the little green alien kid on the Mysterious Mysteries webring. It's amazing. I don't think it's a hoax_

_**AgentMothman: **Thanx! Finally, someone with enough sense to believe me_

_**GBcountryboy: **yeah_

_**GBcountryboy: **so um...could you help me out? I wanted to ask you a few questions._

_**GBcountryboy: **about aliens._

_**GBcountryboy: **just out of curiosity, of course._

_**AgentMothman: **Sure, I'd be glad to. What do you want to know?_

Bobby paused, staring blankly at the computer screen. Now that he'd finally caught up with Agent Mothman, he had so many questions. He didn't know where to start.

_**GBcountryboy: **Who is that alien kid in the footage?_

_**GBcountryboy: **hello???_

After about five minutes of waiting, Bobby wondered if Mothman was still there...

_**GBcountryboy: **Mothman? R U still there??_

Bobby frowned. What happened? Then suddenly, and enormous paragraph appeared under the blue letters of Mothman's name.

"Whoah..." Bobby muttered to himself. "That's alot of typing..."

He read the paragraph, but before he'd gotten even halfway through, another paragraph appeared right under it. Then another. Then another. This dude's got alot to say, Bobby thought.

It was more like reading a long editorial, rather then chatting. It was a long, elaborate explanation about the green-faced boy in the video. From what Bobby gathered, his name was Zim, and he was a real live alien from a distant planet called Irk.

"Irk", Bobby whispered aloud, trying out the name of his supposed home planet. "Irk..."

Bobby couldn't read anymore. He could barely breathe. His mind was going a mile a minute, so fast he forgot all about chatting with Agent Mothman. He quickly typed a "Thank you so much for your help it was great talking to you", then logged off.

He climbed to the roof of their peaceful little farmhouse, sitting by his bedroom window. It was his favorite place to sit and think. He drew his long legs up under himself and wrapped his arms around them, resting his chin on his knees. He gazed dreamily up at the clear, star-studded sky. A shooting star darted across the horizon.

"Irk..." he whispered, smiling to himself. He stayed out there on the roof for the rest of the night, thinking hard until the sun rose bright orange over the evergreen mountaintops.

**_((GBcountryboy has logged off ))_**

_**AgentMothman: **Hello? GB? Wait! I wasn't finished. I didn't get to tell you about the Irken's horrible plot to take over the universe, or about Zim's evil plan to destroy mankind! He must be stopped! Maybe you can help me!_

_**AgentMothman: **hello?_

_**AgentMothman: **hello???_

**That's it for now. More coming soon...**

**E.V.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I, E.Vital, do not owns the terms or characters from the Invader Zim Tv show. I do, however own Bobby and Sally Bledsoe.**

**Here's the next chapter.**

Bobby pushed back his welding mask to wipe the sweat from his brow.

"Baby," he said, "What's the status on the EVC pulsator?"

A smooth, even toned female voice answered him from somewhere in the rafters in the barn.

"EVC Status searching...EVC power recharged at 67 percent."

"Good", he said. He sighed, arching his sore back. "Time for a break."

He opened the icebox and took out a metal can. Sitting on a plastic crate, he gazed up admiringly at his creation. The huge chrome pod glistened gold and silver under the light of the lanterns strung up by the hayloft.

"Bobby?" Sally came into the barn. "How's everything going?"

"Oh just fine. Everything's going smooth as satin, " he smiled, mopping his brow with a red bandana. "I got the secondary power unit up and running, and the EVC pulsator will be done charging soon. Once that's all set up, the cruiser should be just about ready. It won't be long now." He took a sip from his metal can.

Sally looked up at the big round, conk-shell-shaped structure, as an uncomfortable feeling fluttered in her belly. Bobby had told her it was just another experiement of his; and new tinker-toy her was working on. But he spent all his time out here fiddling with this thing. What was he really up to?

"I'm gonna try to uplink the cruiser's computer system to Baby's mainframe. That way I can still communicate with the house while I'm flying this thing, " he said, mostly to himself.

Sally frowned. "Well..." she said, shrugging, " Don't stay out here too long...Mysterious Mysteries will be coming on in about twenty minutes..."

"Oh sure thing, mom. Just a few more minutes," he said, his lollipop-red eyes never leaving the cruiser. He absent-mindedly nibbled his left antennae, thinking.

Sally turned to go, but before she shut the big wooden door, she paused to stare at her boy. He just sat there on the crate, gazing thoughtfully up at the big machine. Her heart sank as she shut the barn door...

**Whew. That's it for today...**

**E.V.**


	11. Goodbye mom

**Here is the next chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I, Elana Vital, do not own any of the terms or characters from the Invader Zim TV show. I will however claim the characters of Bobby and Sally Bledsoe as my own.**

Sally sat out in the porch swing with her amazingly huge green son. They were having a heart-to-heart. The sun was setting behind the barn out in the open field, and the sky was a rosey-purple. Crows cawed in the distance, and wind-chimes tinkled overhead. Sally's eyes were red-rimmed with tears. She sniffed, staring bleakly at her hands.

"Mom..._please_ don't cry ", Bobby said wretchedly. He knew he was breaking her heart, and he could hardly bear it. "You and I both know I...I just don't belong here."

Two years have passed since Sally Bledsoe found a little baby smeet on the corner of 34th and Ridgewood Avenue. She hadn't aged that much, but she felt like a feeble old woman at the moment. Robert Bledsoe...her own little green boy...was going to leave her.

He wasn't a baby anymore. He'd grown tall and muscular from working on the sustainance farm. He had big-broad shoulders and handosme red eyes brighter then a robin's breast. He had a deep, barritone voice and a kind disposition. He reminded Sally very much of the Jolly Green Giant. She chuckled at the thought.

"I know Bobby. I understood you'd have to grow up and leave me someday... I just didn't think it would only take two years! And I never imagined you'd be going all the way to the other side of the galaxy..."

Bobby smiled, taking his mother's hand. "I have to go to Irk, Mom. It's where I belong."

"I know. I know..."

"And wherever I am, I promise I'll send you transmissions through Baby as often as I can, alright?"

Bobby reached over and wiped away a tear from Sally's cheek, even though the tears burned and blistered his fingertips. Then he gave her a big bear hug.

"Make sure you eat good, okay?", came Sally's voice, muffled in his blue flannel shirt.

"Okay."

**E.V.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Here is the last chapter of this story, but there's more to come later!. **

**Disclaimer: I, Elana Vital, do not own any of the terms or characters from the Invader Zim TV show. I will however claim the characters of Bobby and Sally Bledsoe as my own.**

Bobby sat uncomfortably in his silver cruiser, sipping a can of nitro glycerine. He'd been traveling for three whole months already, and was beginning to get alittle stir-crazy.

"If I don't get off this thing and stretch my legs soon, I'll go insane!" he said aloud, tugging his antennae with frustration. He gazed out of the cruiser window again, so very tired of staring at stars that never seem to move even though he was traveling almost at the speed of sound. Just then, he squinted hig big, red eyes, pressing his nose against the freezing cold glass...It was a single green orb, floating like a huge granny apple in space.

"Oh thank god! A planet!! Yee-haw!!!! OOF!-" He junped with excitement, bumping his head on the roof of the cruiser.

" Ouch...ugghhh...Baby! Analyze the approaching planet's atmosphere!" he cried out, rubbing his bruised head.

"Analyzing...Atmospheric conditions are stable...atmospheric pressure withstandable...Air, breathable. Inhabitants, energy sources, civilization...Water percentage...25 percent..." came the smooth, female voice.

"Yesssss!" sighed Bobby, relaxing into his chair. "Baby, prepare ship to enter planet's atmoshpere."

"Negative...There are computer intellegence program signals coming from the most heavily civilized regions. Weapons are detected...Atmosphereic entry is prohibited without permission."

"Oh, okay. Then communicate with foreign computer intellegence requesting permission to land", said Bobby.

"One moment please...Interfacing...Request has been sent successfully...One moment please...Incoming transmission..." Baby said.

An holographic image appeared before Bobby, causing him to yelp. The head of a strange looking creature with five eyes, two noses, and blue fur all over it's face hovered right in front of Bobby's nose.

"Hello stranger! Welcome to planet Flooschnik!" it said.

Bobby frowned. He didn't have the proper resources to install holographic transmissions on the cruiser, so he's have to just send back an audio response. Oh well.

"Uhhh...h-hello there," he said into his microphone nervously. He had never spoken to another alien before, and was beginning to feel alittle self-conscious. "Um...I'm just a traveler passing through here, and I was really really tired, so I wanted to rest a bit here...at Flooschnik...If that's alright, I mean."

"What's your name, Traveler? Where are you from?"

"My name's Bobb-er-uh-Robert," he stammered. He always felt the nickname his mom gave him was alittle babyish. Hi full name sounded more distinguished, he thought. "I'm from the planet Earth."

"Hmmmm...Never heard of 'Earth' before...Oh well. Welcome, Bobberuhrobert from the planet Earth. Come on down, make yourself at home!"

"Wow! Thanks!" said Bobby. Hey! There Flooschnikians are really friendly! he thought.

Bobby gently eased the throttle as he landed the cruiser. He stepped out, looking at the terrain before him. It was a desert of green sand, and far off in the distance he could make out a green-blue mountain range. The sky was a bright yellow, and there seemed to be two suns.

"Coooool..." he murmured. He stretched out his long arms and legs, alittle wobbly from his trip. He did a few jumping jacks to get the blood flowing, then a few cartwheels just for good measure. Then he did a little bit of exploring. There wasn't much to be seen, except more green desert, so he returned to his ship.

Laying out the big fuzzy blue and orange checkered blanket his grandma from Florida had knitted him, he strectched out contentedly under the shade of his cruiser for a nice little snooze.

"Wake up, Irken slime!" a gravelly voice said, startling Bobby awake. He rubbed his eyes and blinked to see himself surrounded by big blue furry creatures with mulitple eyes and noses. They all had a series of what looked like ray guns pointed at his head. He sat bolt upright.

"Whoah!" He cried, throwing his hands up in surrender, "Who-what-why-w-what-"

"Get up, you lying, filthy _Invader _!" one of the Flooschnikians said.

Bobby scrambled to his feet. "I-Invader? What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb, you disgusting green monster! We know why you're here!"

When Bobby stood up to his full height of eight feet two inches, the Flooschnikians took a half step back.

"Stand your ground, soldiers! Stand your ground!" the leader of them said, poising his gun for action. "Ohhh, so you're a big one are you? Makes no difference to us, Invader Bobberuhrobert of the dispicable planet Irken Armada. You'll bleed green either way!"

"B-B-But wait! Why? What did I do?" Bobby asked.

For an answer, the Flooschnikians began blasting away at him with yellow lasers. Quickly dodging, Bobby dove head first and blasted off, shouting, "Baby! We're under attack! Get us outta here quick!!"

The silver cruiser shot up into the air, the Flooschnikians running after on foot, shooting at it as it zoomed away.

"What was that all about?" Bobby panted, checking behind the cruiser to see if he was being persued...

**Well, that's it for the first volume of this story. I've got to get back on the road again, so I'll start Volume 2 once I get back to Florida in about a week or two. Hope you guys liked it!**

**E.V.**


	13. vol2 chpt 1

I'm finally here in Florida, and now I can continue the story of how the Irken Empire became not so…empire-y. For those who have no idea what's going on in this story, you should go read the first volume….If you feel like it. Or not. Or whatever. Hop you guys enjoy it!

**I, E.Vital, do not own any of the terms or characters in the Invader Zim TV show. I do own Bobby and Sally Bledsoe, though .**

Bobby leaned back in the reclining seat of his silver cruiser, his hands tucked comfortably behind his head, his long, blue-jeaned legs propped up on the dashboard. He balanced a fountian pen on his nose.

An old Marx Brothers movie played on the moniter below the windshield, and Bobby chuckled as he watched, though he'd seen this film at least twelve times already. He'd been traveling through space for about five more months now and had made frequent rest stops, mostly at desolate moons and uninhabited planets. Ever since the incident at Flooschnik, he'd learned to lay low with any other intellegent life forms. You never know what sort of creatures are out there, he thought, and who knows? Maybe racism isn't just limited to humanity.

Still, the past couple of months had been pretty uneventful, and Bobby would've gone mad with boredom if it weren't for the thousands of movies, tv shows, and video games he'd remebered to download to Baby, not to mention his extensive country music collection. What's more, he wouldn't have had the faintest idea as to where he was supposed to go, if it weren't for the vague coordinates emailed to him a long time ago by that Agent Mothman guy.

"Incoming transmission", came Baby's voice.

"Oh. Good. Baby, play transmission," Bobby said, sitting up with a smile.

The movie on the moniter paused, and another window popped up in front of it on the screen. Sally's blurry, pixillated image appeared, and the pre-recorded message began to play.

"Hi Bobby! How are you, sweetheart? I'm just writing to check in and say hello. Everything's going good down here on Earth. Remember Kim and Roger, that sweet old couple from the apartment building? They called. They're finally getting married next week! They wanted to know if you wanted to be the ring-bearer at the ceremony. I guess they think you're still a little kid, since it's only been a year and a half since they last saw you. I told the you were away at camp. I don't know when you'll get this message, so this might be belated, but…." She ducked out of the screen for a second, then came back onscreen with a party cone hat and threw a handful of confetti in the air while blowing a party favor whistle. "Happy Birthday honey! I love you! Ohhh, I miss you so much, sweetheart. I hope you're keeping warm up there. Don't forget to wear a sweater.Write back as soon as you can!"

"End Transmission" came Baby's smooth voice, and the message window closed.

Bobby grinned, shaking his head. Mom had been sending _so many_ transmissions lately. She was probably lonely. She should get out alittle; go on a few dates, he thought.

"Oh well, better respond right away or she'll worry," he muttered to himself. He was just about to record a message when Baby's voice came again.

"Incoming transmission."

"_Another one?_ Jeez! Mom must be bored. Maybe she should get a dog or something…Okay, Baby. Play transmission," Bobby sighed.

"Yaaaaarrrggghhh!!!" Bobby yelped, falling out of his seat with fright as a holographic image appeared right in front of his nose.

It was a green face, with a high, hairless brow and two long antennae. It had a high starched collar that covered the entire bottom half of it's face so that all Bobby could see were two round, purple eyes and the bald green head.

"Attention Foreign Space Craft. You are entering an Irken Territory Field. You do not have clearance for entry," said the floating head in a hoarse, raspy male voice. "Identify yourself, or prepare for elimination."

Bobby blinked dumbly. Do he just say _Irken_ Territory? Excitement bubbled up inside him.

"I-I made it! I'm here! I'm actually here! Ohmigosh, I can't believe it !" Bobby laughed aloud. "This is SOOOO MAJORLY COOL!!"

"I repeat. Foreign Space Craft, identify yourself!" said the floating head.

Bobby scrambled back into the cockpit. He'd better say something quick.

Well, that's it for today. I hope you guys liked it.

E.V.


	14. vol2 chpt 2

Here's the next chapter….Ho hum… 

**I, E.Vital, do not own IZ, blah blah blah blah you know the rest.**

"Um, Hi….Er, uh…Hello…_ahem,_" Bobby cleared his throat nervously as he spoke into the microphone. "M-My name is Robert? Robert Bledsoe, and, um…I'm an Irken."

" An Irken? Well, that is not Irken technology in your ship."

"Er-yeah. I mean, no, no it's not, but I can explain. It's sort of a long story. See, I'm an Irken, but I grew up on Earth and, uh…I was trying to find my way back and…and…"

Bobby gulped. He could see he was doing this very badly, and suddenly the whole story of his life seemed very hard to believe. He tried again.

" I'm not a human, but I was _raised_ by humans, and… well actually by only one human really. See, she's my mom, and I never had a dad of course, because she just found me one night and took me in. So, anyways, I grew up. And I lived on Earth, but I wanted to find out"-

"Enough. We will hear more of your explanations in person. Your ship will be dissarmed and you will be brought aboard the nearest space station for questioning. End transmission." The green-faced Irken hologram dissappeared.

"But wait! How do I get there?" Bobby said into the mic. "Hello?… Hello? Rats! Baby, send another transmission."

"Unable. Foreign computer intellegence has overridden main power drive. System shutting down…" came Baby's voice, then the lights and power of the cruiser shut off completely, leaving Bobby to float alone in the cold, dark silence of space.

" Baby….Baby?…." Bobby said, but there was no response.


	15. vol2 chpt 3

**Here is the next chapter.**

**I don't own nothing but Sally and Bobby! Alright already?!?! Yeesh.**

Bobby shivered with cold as he floated loosely within the empty can of the cruiser. He had no gravity, no power, no warmth, and he was running out of air, according to the meter on the wall. He had seventy-two hours to figure something out before he suffocated and froze to death. He hugged himself, thankful for the extra sweaters Mom had made him bring.

Grabbing the tool kit from the emergencyy box, he popped open the circuit panel undernieth the dashboard. Holding the flashlight between his teeth, he tried to find a way to reconnect the power. Suddenly, there came a loud groaning noise, and he felt himself thrust forward with inertia, bashing his head on the roof of the dashboard. Grunting, he pulled his big, cumbersome self out of the crawlspace and peered out the window.

He saw that the cruiser was enveloped in a bright, glowing beam of purple light, and was in fact being pulled at breathtaking speed through space.

"What the hell…" he began, but the words died in his mouth. Before the cruiser was a mind-boggling, huge pink disk floating in the recesses of the void; a space station with an enormous Irken emblem emblazoned across the center.

Suddenly Bobby screamed with fright as the cruiser shuddered and shook violently, before dissappearing into thin air.


	16. vol2 chpt 4

Next chapter, I don't own Invader Zim, blah-dee-blah-dee-blah. Just read.

Bobby cowered behind the cockpit of the cruiser, his arms covering his head, screaming as everything around him was all rushing noise and light. And just when he thought he could bear it no longer, it stopped. He froze. All was silent.

He slowly peered from behind the back of the seat of the cockpit at the windshield. He could see nothing through the window but green and purple lights flashing in a thick curtain of smoke. He bit his lip, waiting for something to happen.

"Foreign Space Craft Operator. Come out of your ship with your appendages up. You are being detained for questioning, " a booming voice came from outside.

Bobby paused for a minute, wondering if maybe coming here was a bad idea. He couldn't stop trembling as he climbed over the back of his seat and turned the Open Windshield Key on the dashboard. The windshield rose, letting all the thick smoke into the cruiser. He coughed, fanning the vapors as they cleared away. He took in his surroundings, hesitating to stand up and climb out.

He was in an enormous open chamber. All along the walls of this great chamber, about five stories up from where the cruiser sat were long, rectangular glass windows. Bobby could sort of make out vague images of people, rather little people, with large heads and green skin, all looking down at him in the big empty chamber. He raised his hands in a show of surrender.

"So, you really _are_ an Irken…Step out of the ship and proceed to the reception area behind you, " came the voice again.

Keeping his hands raised, he stood and stepped down from the ship into the open. Suddenly he could hear gasps and little cries of the people behind the windows above him. He froze, looking up. Did he do something wrong? Was he under arrest? He suddenly wished he were back home in his nice, quiet little farmhouse. He slowly walked around the cruiser and saw a great electronic doorway open before him.

A crowd of the green people, all in red and purple uniforms, stood before him. His heart beat wildly as he stood before them. Despite his fears, he was thrilled. He'd never seen so many green faces before, and all just like his very own! He smiled his sheepish, zipper-like grin and waved feebly.


	17. vol2 chpt 5

**Next chapter. I don't own Zim or stuff. Sklubb is mine. Gloosh is mine. Read it.**

Officer Sklubb stood before the Reception Doorway, his beamer-gun poised for action. Whoever this filthy creature was, the Irken officer was not going to let it enter the Irken Territory Field without a thorough investigation as to what it's business was.

"Sir, the Creature is approaching the Reception Doorway. It really does appear to be an Irken! What do we do?" came the shrill voice of Deputy Gloosh.

"Just be ready, boys…Just be ready…" said Officer Sklubb. The troopers all, stood before the door, waiting.

Suddenly the door opened. The creature stood before them, his hands raised in surrender. He was obviously a real live Irken, though he was dressed in the strangest clothing. He wore a dingy blue sort of pants made with a thick, sturdy looking material, and a shirt with short sleeves and no collar. Strange alien writing was written across the front of his shirt in symblols that looked like " Garth Brooks Live At Riverport!" , though the Irkens had no idea what the letters meant. He had no gloves, and his feet weren't wearing boots. They were covered with the strangest type of rubbery shoes with straps all laced and tied in the front. But that wasn't the first thing they all noticed about him.

" You're so…so...TALL!!" Gloosh exclaimed, dropping his weapon immediately and bowing. The other troopers did the same, staring at the stranger in wonder. Officer Sklubb wasn't so easily bought.

" Who are you? Where have you come from? And how did you get so…TALL!?" he asked.

The stranger blinked dumbly. " I-In that order? Ummm, well, my name's Robert Bledsoe, I'm from the planet Earth, and…Gee, I dunno. I guess I grew big and strong from eating Mama's good old-fashioned home cooking," he chuckled, scratching the back of his enormous neck awkwardly.

Sklubb could tell the stranger was trying to make light of the situation with that last remark, but this was no laughing matter. He lowered his weapon and an electronic arm came out of his PAK with a radio transmitter.

"General Meech, sir. I must report that we have a situation that may require immediate attention. A foreign Irken from a place called Earth has been detained on Irken Station Sector 3CQ4…Please, sir, you must come immediately. I will notify all Control Brains. And sir…. Permission to alert the Almighty Tallest. This concerns them as well," Officer Sklubb said into the transmitter. He looked back at the big green stranger with a shuddering sigh.

" As for you…. Come with me", He said, turning down the corridor.

Reluctantly poor Bobby followed, wondering what in blazes was going to become of him now.


	18. vol2 chpt6

**Next chapter. You know the drill.**

Bobby sat in the white, sterile observation room table wearing nothing but a weak smile and tightie-whities, his green face rather red with shame as the extremely tiny female Irken doctor drone examined him. He had never seen a girl-Irken before, and all his life dreamt of what it would be like to finally meet one. However, he never imagined this long awaited first meeting would be with him sitting on a cold metal table, stripped bear down to his unmentionables as she pricked and prodded at him with needles and such. He squirmed with embarrassment.

She didn't seem at all interested in him as she scanned him over with a strange x-ray device. She frowned. Her enormous, pretty blue eyes became tiny thickly lashed blue slits.

"You have absolutely no genetic inhancements. You don't even have a PAK" , she said in a soft, melancholy voice.

"A what?"

" A PAK. It's a device that all Irken smeets receive at birth. Look, " she said, turning around. On her tiny back was a round blue polka-dotted little metal pod.

" It's everything an Irken would ever need to survive. It has tools, personal information, a transmitter. It sustains us with energy, so there's no need to sleep or eat, and it"-

" Wait. You guys don't eat? That sucks, " he laughed with a smile.

She didn't even smirk. " We can eat snacks for pleasure. But only the drones that work in the Massive, Invaders, and the Almighty Tallest ever get to eat any snacks. Hold still please."

She pointed a strange, drill-like device at his forehead and swiftly inserted it into his skull. It didn't hurt, but the very idea made Bobby scream and jump off of the table, sending the poor little doctor drone flying across the room. Long, spidery robotic legs shot out of her PAK and caught her mid-air. She dangled there, staring surprized and wide-eyed at Bobby.

" What did you just do to me?!?! Oh my god, oh my god!!" Bobby cried, clutching his head.

"Please calm down, sir. It's just a Truth Data Retrieval Probe. I was ordered to implant one in your brain so that the General might be able to know everything you've experienced on Earth", said the little doctor drone, lowering herself to the floor as her electronic legs retracted into her PAK.

" What? Couldn't he just ask me?!" he cried.

" He wanted to be sure you weren't lying. Calm down, sir. It'll only take a few minutes to download the data, and then I'll take it out."

After a minute, Bobby consented to sit down again, rubbing the area around his forehead where the probe protruded and grimaced to himself. The little doctor hesitantly came back to him, and began scanning him again with another device. Her ever-present frown returned as she worked. Sally always told him that he should always behave like a gentleman with girls. Bobby's conscience smote him.

"Hey…." He said after a moment's pause. "I'm-I'm sorry I hit you, Miss. It just freaked me out alittle, that's all…I've never been...brain-probed before."

The little drone looked up and seemed to be surprized at his apology.

" Oh…Well, it's alright," she said awkwardly. Her lashes fluttered momentarily, her frown deepening, as she returned to her work. She seemed very focused.

Bobby shut his eyes and gritted his teeth as the little doctor pulled the probe out of his brain. He rubbed the spot, surprized that there wasn't even a scratch on him.

" Wow, that was so weird," he murmured.

She handed him his blue jeans and t-shirt. "You're all finished, sir."

" Thanks", he said. "Say…What's your name, Doctor?"

The little drone's huge blue eyes grew even wider, as her long curling antennae twitched. " Why? What have I done wrong?" she asked nervously.

"Nothing, nothing. I was just trying to be friendly I guess," Bobby said, perplexed by her reaction.

" Oh", she said. She looked confused. " My name is Jitt. Goodbye, sir."

She then bowed, turned and walked briskly out of the room. Bobby got dressed. Everything was so strange here. He couldn't believe he'd just had his brain probed.

He gazed anxiously at the door, wondering what would become of his silver cruiser. Maybe they would let him get his things out at least. He opened the door and saw a handful of armed guards waiting in the corridor. They clutched their weapons when they saw his big head poking out.

"Oh, uh, hi. I was just wondering, could I maybe get some things out of my ship? That is, if it isn't too much trouble, " he said.

"No, sir. We have orders to see that you remain in the observatory room until further notice. Please remain in the room at this time, sir. Our apologies," said the leader of the little green guards.

"Okay," Bobby said uncertainly, and he shut the door. What was going on?


	19. vol2 chpt 7

Next chapter. I don't own anyone from IZ. I own anybody you've never heard of in the series.

General Meech trembled nervously, his beady red eyes glassed over with fear as the transport for the Almighty Tallest pulled into the landing dock. The entire Irken World as he knew it was now in jeopardy. And what about Operation Impending Doom II?

The two towering figures appeared in the Reception Doorway, and General Meech, Officer Sklubb, and Deputy Gloosh all stood at attention.

" What do you want, Meech? We were in the middle of important scientific research," said Almighty Red.

" Yeah. Were were overseeing the invention an all new flavor of jelly doughnut… Gaggleberry Blast," said Almighty Purple. "This better be important."

"Forgive me, oh great Tallest, but this is very urgent news. There is a young Irken male that has been living on a primitive alien planet, and has just now found his way back into Irken Territory."

"So what?" asked Red.

"Yeah… So what?" echoed Purple.

"My most Handsome and Wonderful Tallest, please understand. None of the Space Station Sentinals had any records of any such person, or we would've known about this affront to Your Greatnesses' throne.You must remember… It-it wasn't our fault!!"

" _What _wasn't your fault?" asked Red, losing his patience.

"Yeah, get to the point or we'll blow you up, Meech," said Purple.

General Meech sighed sadly, hanging his head. He pointed silently to a big screen on the wall behind him.

Bobby Bledsoe's image appeared, his statistics, genetic makeup, and physical information listed in Irken lettering next to the still, 3D picture.

Red and Purple froze with horror and disbelief. There mouths hung open grotesquely, there snakelike tongues hanging between their jagged teeth. They began to quake.

" He's….He's so TALL…." whispered Purple.

" And….HANDSOME…."whispered Red.

They wrapped their spindley arms around eachother and shrieked in terrified unison:

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_


	20. vol2 chpt 8

**Chapter eight. I own no zim!!!!**

Almighty Tallest Red and Purple screamed and kicked, rolling all across the floor in a horrific temper tantrum, while General Meech, Officer Sklubb, and Deputy Gloosh tried desparately to calm them down. Finally Meech's big, booming voice bellowed over the commotion:

"Please my Tallest, calm down! There's more!"

"More? MORE?!! How many more are there? Are they taller then us, too? Are they coming here? WHY?? IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FAIR!! WAAAHAAHHAHHAAABABOOBBGGHHLLLLLCCHEEEPOOOPYYYY!!" Purple shrieked in hysterics. Red shook his shoulders and slapped him.

"Snap out of it! Get a hold of yourself! Maybe we should hear him out," said Red. He stood up and loomed over General Meech, picking him up by his shirt collar and jabbing a skinny green finger in his face. "TALK, MEECH!" he glowered.

" Yes, my Tallest, the stranger _is _taller then you, but please listen. There may still be hope. You see, _he has no PAK."_

"So what?" said Red.

"Yeah…So what?" echoed Purple.

"We've spoken to the Control Brains, and they all agree that it would be a disaster for the stranger to overthrow you as the Almighty Tallest. He is unfit . He was raised in the wilderness as a savage barbarian alien. He has no proper upbringing, no knowledge of the Great Irken Way. He might not agree with Irken laws; he may even pity the alien filth we've conquered thus far, for he himself was _raised _ as alien filth! Project Impending Doom II could be compromised," Deputy Gloosh explained.

"Yeah, but the Irken Public won't realize all that. They'll chose him because he's taller then us. It's Irken Law!" whined Purple, sucking his thumb.

"Yes, my Tallest. But only if they _know,_" Officer Sklubb said, smiling wickedly. "Don't you see? He has no PAK."

"Without a PAK, he has no encoding, no serial number, no genetic history. He isn't recorded in the Great Irken Database. According to all records, without a PAK…he doesn't even exist," whispered General Meech, his eyes glinting viciously.

"We could take care of him here in the Station, cover it up, and no one would even be the wiser," said Sklubb.

Tallest Red and Purple looked at eachother, all of what Meech, Sklubb and Gloosh had been saying slowly crystalizing in their pampered, lazy, over-fed brains. Finally they smiled.

"I like the your style Sklubb. I like your style," said Red grinning deviously.

"You two are awesome! You should be rewarded," said Purple, turning to Red. "How about free passes to the main snack chamber on the Massive?"

"Sounds good to me," shrugged Red. " C'mon, Sklubb and Meech. Let's go get ice cream shakes on the Massive, our treat."

Sklubb and Meech turned to eachother, their eyes shining. "YIPPEE!!" they cried in unison. The four of them turned to leave the Reception Doorway.

"Wait!" cried poor Deputy Gloosh, trotting after them. "What about me? Can't I come, too?"

"You?" said Purple, wrinkling his nose with disgust. Gloosh was a whole two inches shorter the Meech and Sklubb!

"You can be rewarded too, I guess," said Red. " You get to be on Toilet Cleansing Duty until your superior commanders' return! Good job, soldier!Congratulations! Now go."

Deputy Gloosh's antennae drooped sadly. " Thank you, Almighty Tallest. You're too kind," he said gloomily, slinking away.

"Oh, but before you go, call that nasty little medical drone in Observatory Central, the one who's keeping watch over the stranger. Tell her to take extra care that he's handled properly; we don't want him wandering about the station for everyone to see," said Officer Sklubb.

"When we return, we'll personally see that he's killed," General Meech assured the Almighty Tallest.


	21. vol2 chpt 9

**Here's chapter nine.**

Jitt sat in her tiny little cubicle at the end of the long and narrow Obervatory Central hall, glancing at the files open on her holographic projection screen. Frowning, she typed furiously into her little palm-sized hand computer. Then she turned to a separate keypad on her desk consoul and typed some more. Suddenly her holoscreen blanked out and Deputy Gloosh's face appeared.

"You! Medical Drone!" he growled. Jitt dropped her hand computer with surprize and went scrambling after it.

"Yes sir?" came her voice from under the desk.

"What are you doing down there? Get up here and look at me when I'm talking to you. Show some respect for your superiors!" said Gloosh. He was angry at being assigned toilet cleansing duty, and bullying someone smaller then himself made him feel a great deal better. And Jitt was one of the smallest Irkens in the entire Space Station. Why, she was even an entire half-inch shorter then that ridiculous ex-invader…what was his name… Zim!

"Yes sir," she said her, big blue eyes peering over the edge of the desk. She clambered back up into her strattle-chair, her long dark lashes fluttering wildly. She looked down at her hand computer. The antenna was bent.

"Did you finish that diagnostic brain scan yet?"

"Well, no sir. I was just looking over"-

"You mean you aren't finished yet! What have you been doing all day?" Gloosh grunted.

"I'm sorry, sir. But the stranger has no PAK, so I have to hand-type his genetic history and place it in a medical record before I can even get access to the brain-scan. It's taken me five whole hours just to decipher the data I've been able to gather so far," said Jitt, trying to straighten the antenna of her computer. It snapped off.

"Well, then you can just un-decipher them then. The general doesn't want you to hand-type any records on this guy. Erase everything."

"Erase everything?" Jitt whispered despairingly. Five long tedious hours of work, now gone to waste.

"You heard me. And get that brain scan finished already. I want it done yesterday!"

"But sir! I can't erase the records; the brain scan diagnosis requires"-

"ENOUGH!" roared Deputy Gloosh, silencing the nervous little drone. "You'll do as the General orders, understand? Now get to work!"

"Yes sir."

Deputy Gloosh's face dissappeared. Jitt rubbed her eyes wearily. The Deputy seemed to be in a bad temper. She had better make sure everything went smoothly; her job was at stake. It was very risky, but she knew that there was only one thing left to do…


	22. vol2 chpt 10

**Here's chapter ten volume 2. **

Bobby stood behind the observation table, staring bleakly at a screen on the wall that flashed strange green writing. He couldn't even read the letters of his own species.

Why did they keep him locked up in here? Every time he tried to ask one of the guards outside the door, they merely said:

"You will remain here until further notice, My Tall One." That's all he could get out of them.

Maybe they were going to help him get to planet Irk. Maybe they had to first get some sort of clearance for him; like a kind of passport or something. Or maybe he'd done something wrong. He only wished someone could tell him what.

Suddenly the door opened, and that nervous little doctor came in. She bowed.

"Hello Doctor Jitt," Bobby smiled.

"Hello, sir. How are you feeling now?"

"I'm alright. Hey…Any word on why they're keeping me here? I mean, what's going to happen to me?"

"Well, sir, the General of this space station has given me orders to run the diagnostic on your brain probe scan. However, you are not recorded in the Irken Database, so all procedures on you are currently delayed. I must create a record for you on the database before anything else can happen."

"Ohhh!" laughed Bobby with relief. "So that's all that's going on. Phew! I thought I was in some sort of trouble or something…. Okay, well, how's the record coming?"

"I'm going to create your record right now," she said. "Please remove your shirt, sir."

"My shirt?" asked, Bobby, pulling his T-shirt off. "Why? I thought we were done with the physical."

"We are. I'm going to prep you for surgery."

"Whoah whoah wait a second. Slow down… what did you say? Surgery? For what? I'm not sick," asked Bobby, standing up with alarm.

"Oh, quite the contrary, sir. You're not sick at all; you're actually the healthiest Irken I've ever examined. Actually, you're actually healthier then any Irken ever recorded in all medical history. I've analyzed your genetic structure and you're stronger and more well-developed then the common Irken. You skin, your muscles, even your blood vessels are all, to say the least…_perfect,_" said Jitt. "It's rather fascinating in my humble opinion. My hypothesis is that in your growing stages you were so well-nourished and well-rested that you were able to develop to your fullest capacity. That would explain your impressive height."

"Well, if I'm so healthy then why are you going to do surgery on me?" asked Bobby.

"Because, sir. You have no PAK, therefore you cannot exist to Irken society. The PAK will enable you to be recorded in our database."

"And so now…you're gonna give me a PAK?"

"Yes. But I will be honest with you, sir. Irkens receive PAKs even before they are brought to life. Your body's lived and grown thus far without one, and there is a great risk that your body will reject the foreign implant. But you will not be allowed to leave this station until you receive one, sir. "

Bobby stood, staring at this wide-eyed little green girl. Was that why they wouldn't let him leave? Maybe this PAK thing was sort of like an ID or something. But was he willing to go under the knife just to join his own species? He bit his lip. He had come too far to chicken-out now.

"Okay. Go ahead and do it," Bobby said, sitting back down on the table.

Doctor Jitt's robotic legs extended, lifting her up behind Bobby's back. She began wiping his bare back down with a foul-smelling sterilizer. Then with a marker, she wrote two distinctive x-marks on his spine. These would be the spots where she would begin to drill.

Bobby bit his lip nervously. "Doctor Jitt?"

"Yes sir?"

"Will…Will it hurt?"

"You will be awake during the entire procedure, to ensure that you don't have brain-damage. I'm going to send a thin network of wires up through your spine, throughout your squeedilyspooch, and then through your brain. Yes, I expect it will hurt. Very much."


	23. vol2 chpt 11

**Chapter 11. **

"Sir! Sir!"

Bobby woke up to someone's voice.

"Robert?….Robert, wake up…"

Was it Mom? Then it was all a strange dream…

"Robert, open you eyes, please! Say something!"

Bobby forced his eyes open to a blinding, white light. Someone was looking into his face, but his vision was so blurry….the face looked sort of green…He blinked.

"Oh thank goodness! You're alive. I thought you had died."

Who was this strange green person?

"I feel so weird…" he whispered.

"Are you in pain?"

"No… I just feel queezy… Where am I?"

"You're still in Observatory Central. You appear to be stablizing. During the surgery you fainted from the intesity of the pain. I thought I'd lost you."

"Who are you? Where's my Mom?"

"Don't you remember? Or have you sustained brain-damage after all… Hmmm…Let me get a probe to see how much you've been damaged," said Doctor Jitt.

Everything came flooding back to Bobby all at once. "No! No no no no no, I'm fine. Please, please. No more probing."

"Can you move at all?"

"I think so, but…I feel so weird all over," he said. He sat up and the room swam before his eyes. He turned quickly and threw up beside the bed-table he was resting on.

"I-I'm sorry," he said feebly, wiping his mouth.

"You should rest on your stomache so the scabs around your PAK can heal properly," said Doctor Jitt, helping him roll over. "That should only take a few hours. Then you'll be interfaced for encoding."

"I wonder if this is what a hang-over feels like" he said, laughing weakly, resting his head.

"A what?"

"Never mind."

"Well, sir," said Dr. Jitt, "It seems you're body has accepted the PAK implant, so you'll be just fine. I'm going to run the diagnostics of your brain scan, and I'll send someone in to clean up this mess. Then once you're feeling better, I expect the General will give you permission to leave the space station. After that you may journey on to Irk, if you like. Goodbye, sir." And with that she bowed and left the room.

Bobby sighed and shut his eyes. Maybe now that he had a PAK, everything would be okay.

He fell asleep, but his dreams were strange, as if he wasn't tired enough to sleep deeply, yet not awake enough to stop dreaming, so that rather then the deep restful dreams he'd been used to, he had tripp-like hallucinations. When he opened his eyes he felt less disoriented, with a deeper sense of alertness and clear thought that was almost frightening at first. H never even knew he could feel so…._awake. _ His PAK was already working its way into his very consciousness. He knew that he would probably never need to sleep again. The thought disturbed him.

He missed Earth, where people didn't force you to implant things into your body.


	24. vol2 chpt 12

**Next chapter.**

….Then his back began to itch. He really didn't want to touch his back ever again; he didn't even want to _look_ at what they'd done to him. But the itching was so terrible, he simply had to scratch. He gasped when something hard and rough peeled away underneith his fingernails. Brown, flakey scabs fluttered away from his fingertips. He shuddered with disgust.

Suddenly there was a loud, mechanical rumbling sound above him. Two long, snake-like metallic arms came down from compartments in the ceiling. Bobby jumped to his feet, whirling around to look at them. Sharp, metal claws, splayed out from the tips of the arms and reached for him. Crying out, he dodged.

With a whipping sound, the arms followed his every move as he dashed about the room, trying to avoid them. He knocked over a metal strattle-chair and pivoted as the claws just missed his throat. Grabbing the chair, he lifted it over his head and swung it at one of the arms. It became entangled with the chair, and with a powerful jerk, Bobby yanked the arm out of its socket in the ceiling. The metal snake twitched as it died, sparks flickering from its torn end. The other arm reached for him.

"NO!" Bobby roared, grabbing the arm. He toar it out of the ceiling and ripped it to bits. His heart beat wildly, as adrenaline coursed through him. Such power bubbled within his veins that he'd never felt before. He'd always been strong, but never this fast before. And never this alert.

Suddenly, and enormous screen appeared before him on a moniter attached to a metal snake. His reflexes now tweaked, he swung two punches at it. And it lay crumpled at his feet before he realized Doctor Jitt's face was on the screen, and she was beginning to say,

"Robert! What's happened, sir?"

Oops. He'd just trashed an intercom. He stood panting among the mess of wires and crushed machinery, his heartbeat slowing.

Almost immediately the door flew open and Jitt rushed in. She surveryed the mess with wide, fluttering eyes, her hands over her mouth. "What's happened?"

"These two snake things just came out of nowhere and attacked me!" Bobby panted.

"What? You mean the encoder-links? Oh my goodness… Did you do this?"

Bobby didn't know how to respond.

"They weren't …._snakes_," said Jitt, repeating the word as if it were from a foreign language. "They were probes. Encoder links. I had you scheduled to be uploaded into the database. These probes were just trying to plug into your PAK….Oh my goodness, my poor equipment!"

"You mean…they're just extension cords?" asked Bobby.

"Yes. Oh, this is a terrible misunderstanding. The Deputy's going to kill me…"

"I'm so sorry, I-I didn't know," said Bobby, embarrassed. "I just thought…Are you going to get into trouble?"

"Well, I'd most likely get into more trouble if I don't get you set and uploaded by the end of the day…" Poor Jitt sighed, rubbing her forehead. Today was a very tiresome day indeed. "Come with me, sir, and we'll get your PAK plugged in through the main computer."

Bobby meekly followed the tiny doctor out the door, glancing back at the mess he'd just made.

"Guess I don't know my own strength…heheh…"


	25. vol2 chpt13

**Sorry I haven't been uploading very often. I've had a film audition, have been booked to be in one commercial, one promo modeling gig, and and a workout video, all in two weeks time. I'm so exhausted…I need to stop trying to be my own agent…**

General Meech sat in his Voot Cruiser, contentedly slurping away at an Irken Martini. He couldn't help chuckling to himself. He had just been rubbing elbows with the Almighty Tallest! Things may be looking up for him. If he'd gotten in good enough with the Tallest, maybe they'll give him a promotion to boot…..Maybe he'll even get the position of an Invader!

General Meech leaned back comfortably in his strattle-chair and switched on auto-pilot. Once he'd gotten back to the station, that Robert Bledsoe character will be destroyed, and then it's hello promotion. Jabbing a black-gloved finger at the holoscreen, he turned on the news.

"…This just in, from the Great Irken Database…" said the reporter, wearing his usual one-eyed goggle so he can read auto reports just as their uploaded into the system.

"…The amazing story of a brave young Irken has just been uploaded. Stranded on a primitive enemy planet as a tiny smeet, this young hero has endured a turbulent life raised by savage alien monsters called Hue-Mens, a carniverous, disease-ridden species with disgusting fur-covered bodies…"

General Meech froze as a picture of Bobby's face flashed onscreen. His martini dropped from his hand, fell and shattered on the ground… along with all his dreams of becoming and Invader.

" The smeet then survived a horrible inferior existance, all the while dreaming of his beloved home planet, Irk. Reports show that this enemy planet is the very same filthy unmarked globe that Ex-Invader Zim had been banished to. Through superior Irken Problem-Solving-Skills, the young Irken was able to find his way across the galaxy back into Irken Territory. And now it's time for Public Opinion…"

The screen flashed to footage of an elderly Irken woman with a microphone jammed in her face.

"That poor poor boy, living under such horrible circumstances all these years!" she said.

"It's disturbing to think that all this time one of our own was being brought up like an animal. It makes you wonder how many more of our kind are out there suffering needlessly," said a young Irken male.

"I think he's a hero! I wanna be just like him someday!" said one little smeet-girl.

"I wonder what the Almighty Tallest will have to say about this. I'm sure they won't approve of this mistreament of our own species. They'll think of some way to help this poor unfortunate boy," said an Irken Community Leader.

The reporter flashed back onto the screen. " The Irken Public eagerly awaits a statement and plan of action from the Almighty Tallest."

Meech sat staring at the screen in horror…

"_**GLOOOSH!!!!"**_


	26. vol2 chpt14

Next chapter

**Hey guys, I'm back. Sorry I haven't written in a while; I had so much going on it was impossible. However, I'm sure you're much more interested in hearing about what my dear friend Bobby Bledsoe has been up to all this time, so it's back to the story for the time being. Hopefully with no more droll interruptions from "real life." (knocks on wood)**

**Alright. I, Elana Vital, do not own any of the characters from Invader Zim. I do "own" Bobby Bledsoe, Sally, Gloosh, Sklubb, and Jitt, or rather I own them as much as they own me. Onward…**

Bobby hung suspended in the air by an enormous machine that had buzzing wires, cables, and cords spread across the great, round computer chamber. Two enormouse cables were plugged into his PAK and as he hung there, all of his information was uploaded into the Great Irken Database. Dr. Jitt was on the other side of the chamber with a strange sort of virtual reality goggles over her big blue eyes. She wore two huge gloves with cords that attached to the computer and seemed to be pushing buttons in the air.

"Well sir, look at that. It appears that when we uploaded your information into the Database, the Irken News picked right up on it. They're doing a story on you right now on the Irken Newscast. Have a look," said Jitt, pressing a button in the air that made a giant holoscreen apppear in front of Bobby.

"…stranded on a primitive enemy planet, the young smeet had endured a turbulent life raised by savage alien monsters known as Hue-Mens, a carniverous, disease-ridden species with disgusting fur-covered bodies…"

Bobby's face quickly flashed on the screen.

"Hey cool. I'm on TV," he said, squirming uncomfortably. "So… how much longer do I have to stay plugged in like this? My back is getting sore."

"We're almost finished, sir. Then you will most likely be allowed to go to Irk to receive your assignment encoding and report for duty."

" Wait…Report for duty? What do you mean?"

"You know. Your purpose. Your job. Everybody in Irken society has a job assigned to them. The Control Brains are the ones who determine what you will be doing for the rest of your life by encoding your duties into your PAK," said Dr. Jitt, removing her goggles. She looked up at him, her head cocked to the side thoughtfully.

"You're very tall and very strong. You will most likey be sent to Devastis to be trained for some sort of higher military position," she said, thinking.

"Whoah wait. The military? But I don't want to be a soldier…" Bobby began.

"You're also considerably handsome," she said, smiling. "They might want you in some sort of public position as well, if you're lucky…"

"Well, thanks. I mean, that's very nice of you to say, but I'm not really"-

"You could even be sent to work on the Massive!" Jitt continued, beginning to get excited for him. "Perhaps even come into the service of the Almighty Tallest themselves!"

"But wait a minute! Hold the phone there! Don't I get a say in this? What if I don't _want_ to join the military? I don't believe in wars. I'm a Pacifist."

Jitt just looked up at him, blinking her long eyeslashes.

"With all do respect, sir…. Are you mad? Who _wouldn't_ want to join the Irken Military? That's….That's top of the line in Irken Society. Everyone grows up dreaming of one day serving in the Irken Armada….. It's all anyone could ever hope for… You're very lucky, sir. You won't ever have to worry about ending up like me," she said sadly, her curly antennae drooping. With a heavy sigh, she put back on her goggles and went back to work. Bobby watched her, frowning.

"You wanted to join the military?" he asked softly.

"Yes."

" Then… why don't you?"

"Is that a joke, sir? Obviously, I can't."

"Why not?"

She froze and peered up at him over her goggles incredulously. "Look at me! I'm far to short and ugly to be considered for the military. On the planet Irk, the shorter you are the lower in status you are. And there are very few that are shorter then I. The Control Brains decided I should become just a mere doctor drone instead." She focused on her work.

Bobby hung there, fidgeting absent-mindedly with his fingers. After a time, he spoke.

"Well… Back home on Earth…T-They consider a doctor to be a pretty important person. Doctors _heal_ people, and…in my opinion… that's a big deal…Better then shooting a bunch of people in some stupid war…and…and I don't think you're ugly at all…I think…I-I think you're… I think your eyes are very beautiful…and…well…back on Earth, petite girls are considered to be… kinda cute," he said shyly, blushing.

She said nothing but continued on her work, her frwon deepening.

Bobby sighed, silently kicking himself. "Real smooth," he thought to himself, "now she thinks you're an idiot."

That's it for now, but I expect I'll have more coming soon! 

**E.V.**


	27. vol2 chpt15

Here is the next chapter

**Here is the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it.**

After all of Bobby's information finished uploading into the database, he was escorted by armed soldiers back to the observatory room to be locked up… again. Only this time, Dr. Jitt joined him in the room to wait. She stood across the room and watched him, her arms folded pensively across her chest. He sat in his chair awkwardly, his legs together on one side. He smiled at her uncomfortably as he tried to lean back, but almost tipped over. She couldn't help but chuckle.

"You have to strattle it. Put one leg on each side, and then you can lean back comfortably", she said.

"Oh, ok…hehe, the chairs back home are a lot different, "he murmured.

They sat in silence, Bobby drumming his fingers awkwardly on his knees. Jitt stared at him intently, which made him alittle uncomfortable. But she couldn't help it. He was so… _different._

Different from any other Irken she'd ever met before. He spoke to her as if she were his equal, which she clearly was not. He was so tall; the tallest Irken she'd ever seen in person, and she was such a tiny tiny thing. Under ordinary circumstances, one of his stature wouldn't even speak to one so low as herself.

Yet here he was, smiling at her. Saying kind things to her. Treating her as if she were a _person_. She'd never experienced anything like that before.It felt rather …nice.

He'd even said she was…beautiful. She'd never been called that before by anyone, especially not one so tall. She'd always supposed she were quite ugly. For how could one so small be considered as beautiful?

"Well," she thought to herself, "As kindly as he may seem now, he'll change soon enough. Once he becomes encoded, he'll behave just like all the rest. It's the Irken Way…"

Bobby smiled at her, trying to make small talk. "One time I tried to make a rocking chair as a present for my mother. That was when I had the idea that I'd someday grow up and become a world famous carpenter-slash-inventor. I used to love going to the hardware store as a kid, looking at all the tools and things. Old Mr. Rueger owned the shop by the General Store, and he told me one day if I ever wanted a job, he'd hire me…Well, anyway, he showed me how to use a lathe, and so I built my own in the barn. I used it to make the rocking chair for Mom…"

"And your…_Mom_, as you call her. Was she pleased?" asked Jitt.

"Well, yeah. It was perfect. Until she tried sitting on it. It collapsed right from under her," he chuckled."Well, I was only six at the time, and I didn't really know that much about physics yet. But it's the thought that counts." And they both laughed.

Bobby told her all sorts of stories about life on Earth. Listening to his favorite albums, learning how to ride a horse, hanging out with his friends in the small town he grew up in, life on the farm with his mother.

In that very moment, a small part of Jitt supposed that perhaps it would've been better for him if he'd never left this savage planet called Earth.

**TTFN!!**

**E.V.**


	28. vol2 chpt16

I don't own Invader Zim

**I don't own Invader Zim.**

Just then a holoscreen appeared, and Deputy Gloosh's ugly face appeared.

" You! Medical Drone. Come to Main Central Hall immediately. Bring the Earthling Stranger."

"Yes sir," said Jitt, and the screen went blank. Turning to Bobby, she smiled weakly, "Well, I guess it's time for you to go on to Irk."

"Now?" Bobby asked with a sinking feeling. He felt like crying. He no longer wanted to go to Irk. He didn't want anything to do with these horrible aliens. He just wanted more then anything to go home and forget this whole thing ever happened.

Bobby followed the little doctor through many strange corridors with wires and lights and things imbedded in the walls. They then rode on a round elevator with no walls up to a great crescent-shaped platform surrounded by huge cables. Despite his current sense of utter despair, Bobby couldn't help but take an interested notice of the roundish, pink and purple cruisers parked along the edge of the crescent. They seemed to be far more advanced then his own home made cruiser, and he could immediately tell that they could travel a lot faster. Under different circumstances, he would've stopped to have a good look at them, but now they had to keep walking to the enormous double doors at the other side of the platform.

On the opposite side of these doors was a great round floor, and the sloping walls of the hall were glass windows looking out into the dark, star-studded void. Standing in the middle of the hall were the three superiors, General Meech, Officer Sklubb, and Deputy Gloosh. Bobby had a bad feeling when he looked into their glowering faces. Immediately, Officer Sklubb began to speak quickly.

"Stranger Robert Bledsoe of the disgusting planet of Earth, you are under arrest. You are hereby charged with treason. You will be sentenced to 500 years of service on Planet Dirt, where you will not be allowed to contact any of the Irken Populace"-

"What? Treason? Wait wait, what did I do? I didn't do anything!" Bobby cried as two armed guards placed strange laser restraints on his wrists.

"Sir, wait! What has he done? He hasn't been here long enough to commit-Ow!!"began Jitt. Two more guards grabbed her tiny arms and began dragging her away. Jitt struggled helplessly.

"Medical Service Drone Jitt of Irken Station Sector 3CQ4, you are under arrest. You are hereby charged with aiding and abetting in a rebellion set against the sovereignity of the Great and Handsome and All Powerful Almighty Tallest. You will hereby be sentenced to"-

"HEY!" Bobby roared, causing the armed guards to cower back from his looming frame. "You can't just arrest us! We haven't done anything to your stupid Tallests or whatever you call them!"

"You are charged with frateranizing and possibly sympathizing with an enemy species on a foreign planet, which is treason," Said Sklubb. "Medical Drone Jitt, you are charged with assisting this traitor to integrate our Irken Database without clearance, thus aiding and abetting in a possible rebellion against the Irken Empire. You will be sentenced to execution, thrown out of the Air Lock into the emptiness of space until dead. Guards? Take her away."

"Wait! No! I had orders to download him into the database! No! No! Deputy Gloosh, please tell them!"Jitt cried, wriggling with all her might."Ahhh! You're hurting me!"

Gloosh looked very grave and with a slimey smile said, "I gave no such orders."

The guards carried Jitt away, her pitiful screams echoing in the great hall. The echoes ceased when the double doors slammed shut behind them.

Bobby strained against the laser-rings about his wrists despite the welting burns they left on his skin.

"No!! Let her go! Jitt! JITT!!"

**I'll leave it at that for now. Later ******

**E.V.**


	29. vol2 chpt17

I do not own IZ

**I do not own IZ.**

With a ground-shaking shout, Bobby yanked at the restraints making then crack like whips, knocking the armed guards off their feet. A few more guards came about him, and with speed swifter then he'd ever known possible, Bobby sent them all tumbling away with a single blow of his ham-sized fist.

He ran twards the double doors and pounded away at them until they were nothing but sparking scraps of sheet metal and wire.

"Don't let him escape! GET HIM!" thundered General Meech, and two more guards flanked Bobby on the other side of the doors.

Long robotic arms extended from their backs and lasers shot at Bobby from the tips. One laser beam grazed Bobby's cheek, and he bellowed with pain. Their attack only seemed to anger him more, as his face contorted grotesquely into that of a terrifying, vein-displaying green-faced monster with flashing red embers for eyes.

He gave a deafening roar. The armed guards froze in their tracks, petrified.

Bobby grabbed the two guards by their faces one in each fist, and raising them high in the air, their bodies dangling pitifully under them, he bashed their two heads together. They fell in an unconscious, bruised heap behind him as he sprinted across the crescent platform.

Unbeknownst to him, long robotic legs had extended from his PAK, lifting his huge body into the air as he traveled with unstoppable speed.

Bobby quickly ran up to one of the parked cruisers. His mind working faster then he had ever imagined possible, he assessed the mechanics of the cruiser. In a flash he was seated inside of it, driving it about the great chamber as if he'd been pilotting it for years.

Meech, Gloosh, and Sklubb had just passed through the demolished double doors in persuit when they had to duck and cover, for the cruiser had flown right over their heads, smashing a bigger hole through the door opening. The cruiser raised up into the air and sped towards the huge glass window walls.

When General Meech saw what Bobby was about to do, he screamed, "NOOOOO! HOLD ONTO SOMETHING QUICK!"

The cruiser blasted through the great glass windows, shattering them to thousands of pieces as it broke into outer space. The suction of the opening caused the three screaming superiors to cling onto anything for dear life, as debris and air flew out into the ominous void.

Meanwhile, safe on the stolen cruiser, Bobby searched frantically for any sign of the little doctor as he flew along the outside of the space station.

"Jitt! Jitt! Where are you!?" he cried out through the glass bubble of the cruiser's windshield, despite the common sense of knowing she probably couldn't hear or answer.

"Jitt!"

Off in the distance, Bobby spotted a tiny speck tumbling and bouncing slowly in the horizon of the pink exterior of the space station. He zoomed towards it. It was Jitt, freefalling.

He hovered over her and pounded a few buttons that caused a purple tractor beam to pull her towards the cruiser. A little circular door opened on the floor of the cruiser, and in an instant she was lying limp inside.

Clambering behind the cockpit, he knelt over her small form. He shook her tiny shoulders desparately. "Jitt! Please, please wake up!" he cried. Nothing showed in her face, her long thick eyelashes remaining shut.

He scooped his arm under her shoulders, propping her up. Her head rolled back like a ragdoll's. Cupping her little green face in his huge hand, he re-ajusted her head, shaking her. "Jitt, answer me. Answer me, please!" He patted her cheek roughly.

Her eyes fluttered as she let out a big gasp for air. She began to cough violently.

"Ohhhh, thank god!" Bobby cried, "I thought you were dead!"

"You mean…I-I'm not?"

"No", Bobby laughed, "No, I think you're gonna be fine… Wow, if you were a human, you'd be in pieces by now!"

"W-What happened?" asked Jitt, trying to sit up. Her head swam and she cried out in pain. "Ohhhh, my head, my head…"

"You just lie down here and relax…You're pretty beat up. Look at that shiner; you look just like Sylvester Stallone in Rocky," Bobby chuckled.

"Who?"

"Never mind, never mind. You rest. I've gotta get us away from here before Meech and Sklubb catch up with us…That is, if they're still alive."

"What?? Still alive? What do you mean? What happened? What did you do?" asked Jitt, her eyes widening with fear. "If the Tallest find out we've escaped, we'll"-

"Ssshhh now, stop that fretting. Don't worry. I'm going to get us out of here. You'll come on home with me and everything'll be ok. It might take some time before they try and follow us, and by the time they're ready we'll be long gone. I busted them up pretty badly if I do say so myself," Bobby said, climbing back into the cockpit. The cruiser zoomed away and within seconds, the space station was out of sight.

TTFN

**E.V.**


	30. vol2 chpt18

I, Elana Vital, do not own any Invader Zim…

**I, Elana Vital, do not own any Invader Zim…. Stuffness.**

"I just don't understand it", said Jitt sitting in the back of the cruiser, nursing her bruised head. "Why would they arrest _you_? Normally, people of height are treated with respect and indulgence. I mean, I always imagined I would meet my end with something like this some time or another. But _you?"_

"I don't know. I don't know and I don't care. I'm sorry for you, because I know you've lived your whole life with these people, but I say good riddance. I want nothing to do with their kind. I'm from Earth, and that's where I plan to stay," Bobby said gruffly from the cockpit.

Jitt's antennae drooped sadly. All her life she'd been told that foreign planets were savage and disgusting, and now she had no choice but to be exiled to one with this strange, tall young Irken. When she first was awarded the position of medical service drone, she had a vague hope that perhaps things would start looking up for her. It isn't every day a lowly drone gets to work on an Irken Space Station. She had hoped upon hopes that perhaps now she could make a decent life for herself. But now all of those hopes were gone. Silently, her big blue eyes filled with tears and they spilled down her green cheeks in little rivers.

Glancing over his shoulder, Bobby noticed her crying. "Hey hey hey", he whispered gently, rising from the cockpit and sitting next to her. "Take it easy…. Don't cry, Jitt… It'll be ok, you'll see."

"You just don't get it," she said, wiping her cheeks, " It's over. It's all over. I don't have a job, and-and now I don't even have a place in my own society. I'm finished!" She burst into sobs.

Bobby put an arm around her and handed her a red bandana from his pocket. She buried her face in the bandana and blew her nose with a squeaky honk.

" Aw Jitt, don't say that. You aren't finished. Come now, it's going to be alright. Don't worry… I know it isn't what you're used to, but Earth isn't as bad as you'd think. You can come live with Mom and me, and we'll tell everyone you're a second cousin, or a friend of a friend of a friend or something. Back home, people don't judge you because of how tall you are, and things are a lot easier to handle. Trust me, you'll like Earth…" Bobby soothed.

"Don't you get it?" Jitt cried, " They're after you! I don't know why, but you've somehow managed to anger the Almighty Tallest, and they won't rest until they find you. Your little Earth will not even stand a chance against the Irken Armada. They're going to come after us, Bobby. We're doomed!"

Bobby's face fell. What if she was right? Then something occurred to him. He quickly stood up and started searching the circuit panels of the cruiser wall.

"What is it?" asked Jitt, sniffling.

" I just realized there might be some sort of tracking device on this thing that'll lead them to us. I don't want them to find out the exact coordinates of our location. Maybe we can buy some time if we get to Earth before they do. I don't know… Maybe we can warn the humans of the coming of the Irken Armada; rally up some kind of defense… Ah! I got it!" Bobby said, pulling out a box from a compartment in the wall. It beeped and warbled, connected to several wires in the system. With a jerk, he ripped it from its connections, and smashed the box with a stomp of his foot.

" I have a human friend on Earth who knows about the Irken Empire. His alias is Agent Mothman. He tried to warn me about what the Irkens were like, but I guess I was just so excited I didn't listen. He's very smart, I think he might even be a secret agent for the United Nations or something. He'll know what to do. If he can tell everyone about the Irken's plan to attack the Earth, everyone'll join together. We can fight this," said Bobby, climbing back into the cockpit. "I know we can."

He pressed a few symbols on the touch screen, preparing to send a transmission.

"Wait, wait! What are you doing? You can't send a transmission; they might be able to track the use of the Irken technology," Jitt warned.

" I'm just going to send a quick message to my Mom. I have to to warn her. Maybe she can find Agent Mothman and give him a heads up. Besides, I'm sure she's worried sick; she hasn't heard from me in over two months," he said.

"Alright, but please be quick about it," Jitt said nervously.

"Preparing to record Transmission," said the male voice of the computer. "Recording…"

"Mom! It's me, Bobby. You have to listen to me; we're in a lot of trouble! I went to Irken Territory, and things went horribly wrong…" Bobby began. He told her everything that happened, about the Irken conquests, and about the possibility of the Irken Armada attacking Earth.

"You have to find Agent Mothman so he can help us stop this. I've never met him in person, but I know he can do something. The Tallests are going to get more then what they bargained for if we can team up against them," Bobby said. "Be safe, Mom. Please. I love you, and I'll see you soon… End transmission…"

Now there was nothing left to do but hope upon hopes again.

That's it for now. Later

**E.V.**


	31. vol2 chpt19

Here we go… Here we go…

Zim sat in the quiet solitude of his base on the filthy planet called Earth, standing over an earthling specimen in a clear tank on a metal table. Examining the test suject had proven to be more difficult then he had originally supposed. This creature originally appeared to be a sort of fish type specimen, but had apparently grown legs and lost it's tail. It's color had gone greenish, and it was now making a hideous series of "ribbit" sounds.

"Hmmmmmmm….HMMMMM, hmmm, Hmmm,…HMMMMMM," he murmured to himself, scratching his chin thoughtfully. He typed furiously into his hand held computer.

Suddenly there was a loud shriek, and his robot servant Gir, burst into the laboratory chamber and went zooming over his head riding a broomstick.

"WHEEE HEE HEE HEE HEEEE! I _IS_ THE WICKEDIST WITCH OF THE WEST!!"

Zim ducked nonchalantly, as Gir began swinging the broom over his head.

"Gimme your shoes! GIMME YOUR SHOES!" Gir squealed, tugging away at Zim's boot.

Losing his balance, Zim tumbled to the ground, the little silver robot still clinging to his foot. "Gir! Get off me! Stop this nonsense, you wretched robot!"

"GIMME YOUR SHOES!!" Gir howled, pulling away at Zim's leg.

"Fine, fine! Take it and leave me! I'm attempting to conduct a detailed observation on this…Fish-Lizard," said Zim, removing his boot and hurling it at the little robot.

It hit Gir's little metal head with an empty sounding _ping_ and sent him spinning across the laboratory floor. Gir sat up and began to chew in the black boot with relish, slirping and gurgling with glee.

Zim went back to observing the animal. He put on a large set of goggles that connected to his PAK, and carefully put his hand in the tank. He gingerly extended his gloved finger at it and oh-so-carefully gave it a poke.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Zim shouted with fright, shielding his face and hiding under the table as the creature gave a small hop.

After a moment of cowering in a trembling little ball, Zim crawled from under the table and peered cautiously at the creature ontop.

"Ribbit," the bullfrog replied.

" Yesss…Intreguing," said Zim to himself, removing the protective goggles. "Gir, bring me the electeroscope. I'm going to disect this beast to see how it…Gir?"

But Gir was nowhere to be found in the laboratory. "Gir! Where have you run off to?"

Suddenly, Zim heard a loud snore above him. "GIR, GET OFF MY HEAD!!"

Gir leapt into the air and landed sitting Indian style, the poor frog's legs kicking and dangling from his mouth. "The froggy's my FRIEND," he said proudly.

" Take that out of your mouth! You don't know where it's been. AND STOP EATING ALL OF MY EXPERIMENTS!!" Zim shouted. " One of these days, I'm going to have to remove your brain and replace it with a better, more intellegent one. For now, you must"-

"Incoming transmission from the Irken Database…" came the male voice of the base's computer system.

"EEEK! It's the Tallest! And I still haven't discovered how to build an atomic bomb using advanced amphibian technology!" Zim shrieked. " Gir, clean yourself up and get that creature out of your mouth. AND GIMME BACK MY BOOT!"

"Yay!!" Gir sang, spitting out the frog. It hopped away and dissappeared under the computer console. Gir pulled Zim's boot out of the top if his head and threw it across the lab. It hit Zim square in the face and knocked him flat on his back. Scrambling, he pulled his boot back on and dusted himself off. Clearing his throat, he stood at attention in front of the enormous holoscreen.

"Computer, open transmission."

But it wasn't an open transmission. It was a pre-recorded message from an unfamilier Irken space craft. The face of a handsome young Irken male flashed onto the screen.

"Mom! It's me, Bobby! You have to listen to me, we're in a lot of trouble!…"

"Ehh? I see no Tallests! Who is this?" said Zim. The message played on.

As Zim listened to the message, his red eyes grew round and large.

**E.V.**


	32. vol2 chpt20

General Meech, Officer Sklubb, and Deputy Gloosh nursed their bruises and sore limbs in the Lower Deck Lounge, as an Irken Rep

General Meech, Officer Sklubb, and Deputy Gloosh nursed their bruises and sore limbs in the Lower Deck Lounge, as an Irken Repair Ship polished the outside of the Space Station's new window in the Main Hall.

"What are we going to do? It seems he's disabled the tracking module on the stolen Voot Cruiser. We have no idea where he is; he could be lightyears away by now," said Deputy Gloosh.

"I don't know… I don't know," muttered General Meech. "I don't know what there is for us to do. The Controls Brains, the Almighty Tallest… They ordered us to be rid of the Stranger. Even if execution was to be delayed, we were at least to keep him under constant supervision to make certain that his great height remains unknown to the Irken Populace…If they find out that he escaped, we're no better off then that rotten little Medical Drone."

"What about the Truth Data Retrieval Probe? Maybe we can use the data in the probe to locate the coordinates of the planet called Earth. Most likely that's where he'll retreat to," offered Deputy Gloosh.

"And what will we tell the Tallest when they ask why we're utilizing extreme classified resources to journey to a planet they have thusfar found no use for? We can't let them know he's escaped. It'll be our necks on the line," glowered General Meech, and Deputy Gloosh held his peace. He was already in enough trouble what with allowing the Medical Drone to give the Stranger a PAK.

"We'll have to find him on our own…Somehow…" said Officer Sklubb. "Or at least find some sort of vise to keep him under control…"

**TTFN**


	33. vol2 chpt21

I do not own Zim, Gir, Dib, or any of the original characters from Invader Zim

**I do not own Zim, Gir, Dib, or any of the original characters from Invader Zim.**

Zim paced back and forth in the livingroom of his freakish house, nervously babbling to himself while Gir tried to cram a whole papaya into his mouth.

"What am I going to do? I have underestimated the intellegence of these Earth monsters. They've-They've been wise to my otherwise ingenius plot of destruction all along! Perhaps even knew of an invasion since before Operation Impending Doom II was even comissioned! Someone must've tipped them off…This _Bobby person…_He must have arranged this whole thing. They're all being led by him; an Irken rebel…IRKEN!!… Bent on usurping the Almighty Tallest! What's more, they've teamed up with Agent Mothman; who through my superior knowledge and instincts must be… Yessss! MUST BE!! None other then that horrible human beast of disgustingness…_**DIB**___" Zim said, vomiting the very name as if it were some fiendish horrible ball of phlegm.

"He must've been behind this all along! Who would have guessed that he has been in league with Irken traitors… TRAITORS!!…How many more Earthling enemies of the Irken Empire has he been able to rally up against the Tallest? HOW MANY? HOW MANY!?" he shrieked, wringing his hands anxiously.

"Ohh! I know! I know!…Oh wait…. No I don't, " giggled Gir, sitting in a slimey pile of papaya pulp and drool. He began to blow bubbles with the orange sludge as it dribbled between his teeth.

"I can't allow it to happen… I can't let these FILTHY ROTTEN EVIL SPIES attempt an affront to my beloved Almighty Tallest! I must stop the Dib–Stink!" said Zim, suddenly dashing into the kitchen. He leaped into the toilet near the refrigerator and flushed it, dissappearing down the bowl into the elevator shaft below.

Gir began to slide across the livingroom floor in the strange fruity substance he'd created with the mutilated papaya as if it were a Slip n' Slide. He crashed into the wheeled feet of the Robomom, knocking her over. Her head fell off and rolled under the couch. (She was a type of android that Zim had built to keep up the appearance of having a normal Earthling family. And as far as he knew, normal Earthling mothers often do lose their heads on a regular occasion.)

"Honey, I've seemed to misplace my head again," came her voice from under the couch. "Honestly, if it weren't attached to my shoulders, I'd misplace it again and again and again and again and again and again and"-

Her flailing, sparking body repeatedly rammed into the wall with every "and again" she spoke.

After a moment of watching this with vague interest, Gir decided to go see what his master was up to. He cartwheeled and summersaulted into the toilet.

Down in the lower chambers of the base, Zim sat grimacing in front of an observation screen. Gir stared up at his master, his round blue lenses growing wider with interest.

"Whatcha doin?" Gir sang.

"Silence, Gir! I'm in need of utilizing my utmost undivided concentration. I am monitering the exterior of the Dib-Monkey's abode in attempt to track all outgoing transmissions. I want to see if he communicates with any of his TREACHEROUS, HORRIBLE Earthling allies. That…_Bobby person_, the wretched Irken Traitor…sent that transmission to contact SOMEONE on this filthy planet, and he instructed that SOMEONE to contact Dib. I'm going to find out who that SOMEONE is-"

"But I thought he said it was his Momma. LOOKS LIKE HE LOVES HIS MOMMA SO VERY VERY MUCH!!"chirped Gir, hugging himself gleefully.

"SILENCE!" shouted Zim, unappreciative of being interrupted by his little robot minion. "And the moment this SOMEONE tries to send a transmission to him, I will be able to trace their locations, and then they will suffer the SCAREY AWESOME WRATH OF THE ALMIGHTY ZIM!!" he said. "Now go away… Go play with your rubber piggies or something."

"WHEEEHEEHEEHEEE! PIGGIES!!" squealed Gir, scampering off.

After about six hours of watching the outside of the big grey Membrane house, Zim was able to find nothing leading to the whereabouts of Bobby's Earthling allies. A few things happened; the Dib-Creature's frightening little sister took out the trash, and a horrifying little dog took a whiz on a nearbye fire hydrant. Finally, all the lights in the house went dark.

"GGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGHHH!! I have been watching and watching and found NOTHING!! There must be some way of finding out who the transmission was sent to!" said Zim finally.

"Computer… CompuTERRRR!! Tell me how to find the location of the intended recipient of the transmission," he said.

"The address of the transmission should be listed on the very message itself. Location could be found by simply looking at the address," came the male voice of the base's artificial intellegence unit. Zim stared blankly at the screen. A moment passed as the soft, squeaky sounds of Gir snoring at Zim's feet could be heard over the low, ever droning din of the base's equipment.

"INGENIUS!" Zim shouted finally, startling Gir awake. A frightened Gir ran screaming across the room, running headfirst into the flat wall unit on the other side. He fell to the ground there, unconscious and sucking his thumb peacefully.

"I have thought of what to do!" said Zim aloud. "The address of the transmission should be listed on the very message itself!! The location could be found by looking at the address!"

"Uhhh… That's what I just said," said the computer.

"Computer! Decifer the intended address of the transmission and calibrate exact coordinates," said Zim.

"Ugggghhh… Fine," sighed the exasperated computer.

Zim cackled maliciously to himself, rubbing his little gloved hands together. "We're going to pay these pitiful Earthling Revolutionaries a little surprize visit…"

That's it for now. Hope you like it this far…

**E.V.**


	34. vol2 chpt22

I, Elana Vital, do not own Invader Zim

**I, Elana Vital, do not own Invader Zim.**

It was very strange to be alone in the house so long. It had been about eleven months since Bobby had left Sally Bledsoe at the sustinance farm. It didn't really sink in that he was truly gone until after the first week had passed.

The morning after he left to find his fortune on Irk, Sally even went out to the lab and made a can of mustard gas for his breakfast before she realized that he wasn't upstairs playing video games in his bedroom.

Many lonely months had passed. Every few weeks or so, her shining moments were when she'd receive a brief transmission from her son telling her about his adventures in the great beyond. He'd even sent her pictures of the strange, colorful terrains from foreign planets he'd visited, many of which looked like water-color paintings of an Earthen desert. As far as she knew, he hadn't come in contact with any other alien life form, but Sally knew her son well. If there were any dangerous creatures out there, she knew he wouldn't tell her about it. He'd always try to stop her from worrying about him. It never worked.

Sally had done things to keep her mind off the distance between her and her boy. With the money she saved from Bobby's nuclear powered generator, Sally was able to afford classes taking Pheonix University's online psychology course. Learning about the psychology of the mind gave her incentive to reflect her own situation.

She was very lonely. And she was very depressed.

She knew she was suffering from an advanced form of empty-nest-syndrome. It happened to all mothers, but her case was much worse. Most mothers get more time with their children and she'd only had him for two years. Most mothers get occasional visits from their grown children; maybe around a Thanksgiving dinner. Sally would most likely never get to see him again.

She tried hard not to feel sorry for herself. She was still young; her life wasn't over. She was only thirty-four years old. Maybe there was still time to build a family. Another family. An Earthling family.

Maybe she should move back to the City, perhaps she could get her job back at Convast. Maybe she could even start dating again.

But everything stopped when she received a holographic transmission from Bobby in the barn.

"Mom! It's me, Bobby! You have to listen to me, we're in a lot of trouble!…"

That was her worst nightmare. Bobby, far away and in danger, and here she was stuck on Earth, unable to do a blessed thing about it.

"… You have find Agent Mothman so he can help us stop this. I've never met him in person, but I know he can do something. The Tallests are going to get more then they bargained for if we can team up against them. Be safe, Mom. Please. I love you, and I'll see you soon… End transmission."

Sally sprinted from the barn and into the house and sat herself down on Bobby's computer. Frantically, she searched for someone on his friends lists called Agent Mothman…

E.V. 


End file.
